Looney Tunes Christmas
by jyvonne13
Summary: Daffy's hasn't talked to his sister or his parents for years, but a couple weeks before Christmas his sister comes to L.A to actually make up with him but Daffy doesn't want to accept. Will Daffy and his family get back together and have a good Christma?
1. Daffy Has A Sister!

_Chapter 1:_

"_Daffy has a sister?!"_

Bam!

Daffy fixed his beak which had just been blown off by Elmer Fudd. He glared at Bugs who just gave him a smug look. He opened his mouth to say something but Bugs cut him off.

"Before you say anything, I just wanted to point out that it's duck season."

Elmer Fudd raised his gun. "WAIT!" Daffy shouted. Too late, he got shot yet again. He couldn't take this anymore. "THAT DOESTH IT! I'M DONE PLAYING WITH YOU TWO!" He stomped off.

"Is he twying to say it's weawy wabbit season?" Elmer Fudd asked.

"Nah, he's just mad. I'd better go calm him down before he murders someone. See ya Doc," Bugs said following after Daffy.

"Bye ya scwewy wabbit." Elmer continued his shooting of innocent animals.

Bugs caught up with Daffy who looked pretty fed up. "So…"

"Don't talk to me," Daffy said.

"C'mon Daff, where's your Christmas spirit!" Bugs said enthusiastically.

Daffy walked over to a stand where people were selling Christmas trees and ripped off a branch. Then he hit Bugs on the head with it. "Shut up."

Bugs rubbed his forehead and shook his head in pity at Daffy. "No Christmas spirit. Just pitiful."

Daffy walked into Ben & Jerry's. "Every time. Every time it's alwaysth duck season rabbit season, bam, bam, bam, the duck loses his beak. And you laugh. Why can't you get shot just once?!" Daffy sat down across from Porky and ate his ice cream.

"Whatever you're m-m-mad about you're gonna take it out on my i-i-i-i…frozen delicacy?" Porky said angrily.

Daffy shoved a spoonful of ice cream into his mouth. "Don't talk to me."

Bugs observed the forceful and angry way Daffy was eating. "Ya shouldn't eat like that, you're gonna tear something internally."

Daffy dropped the spoon and glared at him. "_You've_ already torn sthomething internally in me."

Sylvester came over when he overheard their conversation. "Ouch." He sat down with a smoothie covered in whipped cream. "Let me guessth, you got shot by Fudd a couple thousthand timesth right?"

Daffy continued eating Porky's ice cream. "Don't talk to me."

Porky got up. "I'm going to get more i-i-i-ice cream."

Suddenly Melissa and Lola came through the door. "Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, jingle all the way, oh what fun it is to ride on a one horse open sleigh!"

"No Christhmas carols. Sylvia and Jr won't quit playing them at home. I don't want to hear anymore jingle bellsth," Sylvester complained.

"Fine then," Melissa said. "Rudolph the red nosed reign deer…!"

"Shut up Melisstha," Sylvester said covering his ears.

Lola sat on Bugs' lap. "Hey baby."

Bugs kissed her. "Hey gorgeous." He kissed her again this time longer and more passionate.

"Okay, you're in an icthe cream shop, you don't do that," Sylvester said.

Lola held up her hand which held her gold wedding ring with the carrot engraved onto it which she enjoyed showing off. "Check the rings, we're married, we do do that."

Daffy let out a laugh for the first time all day. "Haha, that'sth funny."

Lola looked at him confused. "What?"

"You sthaid do do," Daffy laughed.

Lola glared at him. "Grow up!"

Porky came back and found Daffy laughing his head off. "Did I m-m-miss something?"

Suddenly the door opened again and in came a black duck with white blonde hair that looked much like Daffy. She ran over to him and gave him a hug. "Daffy!"

"D-Doloresth?" Daffy said utterly surprised.

Bugs and Sylvester exchanged a confused look. "Dolores?"

The rest of them observed the scene also with confusion clear on their faces. "Who's Dolores?"

Daffy pushed Dolores off of him. "I'm his sister," Dolores said.

Everyone except Bugs and Sylvester said at the same time "Daffy has a sister?!" Then they turned to Daffy. "You never told us you had a sister!"

Daffy kept his glare fixated on Dolores. "I wasth trying to forget I had a sthister in the firsth placthe."

"Why are you so grumpy? Aren't you glad to see me?" Dolores said with a hint of sarcasm in her voice.

"No. Now get outta here!"

"Oh Daffy don't be mean," Melissa said. She shook Dolores' hand. "I'm Melissa Duck, Daffy's girlfriend."

"Nice to meet you Melissa." Dolores turned to Daffy. "I'm surprised you have a girlfriend Daffy, I always thought you were too cold and heartless to love someone."

Before Daffy could say something smart back to her she ran over to Bugs and gave him a hug. "Oh Bugs, I haven't seen you in forever. I watch all your cartoons, not Daffy's though, yours are way better."

"Um, thanks," Bugs said. He'd forgotten Dolores existed. He was still surprised to see her.

"Aren't you going to introduce me to all your friends Daffy?" Dolores asked.

"You should already know them sthince you watch all their cartoonsth _but mine_." Melissa elbowed him. "Fine. That's Porky, Lola, Melisstha, and you already know Bugsth and Sylvester. Now why the freak are you here?"

"I came here to see my big brother of course. And I haven't seen you in forever, I thought I'd pay you a visit," Dolores said innocently.

Daffy rolled his eyes. He knew Dolores well, and he knew she wouldn't try to be that nice on her own. "Right Doloresth, okay, get out of my face."

Lola stood up. "Hey Melissa, how about we show Dolores around?"

"That sounds fun. See you guys." Melissa, Lola, and Dolores left.

Sylvester looked at Daffy. "What the heck isth she doing here?"

Daffy shrugged. "I don't know."

"She decides to come here and talk to you after how long, thirty years?" Bugs said.

"W-w-wait a minute. B-b-back up. You haven't talked to your sister in th-th-thirty years?!" Porky exclaimed.

"They didn't have a very good relationship…okay that's an understhatement but you get the point," Sylvester said. "Doloresth was like the devil of all sthisters. That's why Daff left, to get away from her. And here she isth, back by popular demand."

"Pfft! What demand? No one asked her to come back," Daffy said angrily.

"I-i-it was that bad huh?" Porky asked. The rest of them nodded. "What happened?"

Bugs shook his head and waved it off. "Long story that we don't need to go into right now."

**

When Daffy came home a few hours later he found Dolores at his front door sitting on the steps. She gave him her usual smug look as he came towards her. "I was wondering when you'd be back. I thought I'd have to call the police to come find you."

"Doloresth why are you at my housthe?" Daffy asked.

"Your door was locked so I waited outside," Dolores said.

Daffy ignored her and went inside. He tried to slam the door in her face but she caught it. She looked around and took in the beauty of Daffy's house. It wasn't nearly as big as Bugs' house but it was huge. "I thought you lived in Beverly Hills?" she said as she examined the expensive statues in the hallway.

"Where have you been? I left Beverly Hillsth agesth ago," Daffy said as he took a beer out of the refrigerator.

"I've been in New York being ignored by you for over thirty years."

"Doloresth, why are you here, honesthly? If you hated me, and I sthure as hell hated you, why would you even think of coming back?"

Dolores stood there for a moment trying to decide if she had too much pride to tell him why she was really here. Finally she said, "I came because I wanted to make up."

Daffy spit out his drink on her. "What?!"

Dolores wiped her face. "Well, that was rude." She reached for a towel and cleaned herself off. "Yes I want to make up. I mean, you can't hold a grudge on someone forever. I know it sounds weird coming from me but it's true. I'm tired of fighting with you."

Daffy was shocked into silence. His superior, stuck on herself, I'm-better-than-you-in-all-ways sister was coming to him asking for a truce. He took another swig of his drink contemplating whether he should really forgive her or not.

"You know, you shouldn't drink. It's bad for you, you're gonna get liver problems," Dolores said trying to break the silence.

That did it. Dolores had overstayed her welcome. "Doloresth, get out of my housthe."

"I take it you don't want a truce then?"

"GET OUT OF MY HOUSTHE DOLORESTH!!!!!"

"I'm leaving, I'm leaving." Dolores left Daffy's house with disappointment washing over her. Oh well, she'd just have to try harder. Daffy was a stubborn one.


	2. Back In Time

_Chapter: 2_

_Back in Time_

Melissa and Daffy walked to the park hand in hand.

"Daffy why can't you just let it go?" Melissa asked.

"It justh doesn't work that way Melissa. You don't know her, she'sth a menacthe to my manlinessth," Daffy said.

Bugs, who was sitting on the park bench next to Lola, looked up from his DSI. "What are you going on about now?"

"Why'd she have to come Bugsth? Why?! My life was stho much happier before _she_ came!" Daffy complained.

"Just like my life was so much happier before Sylvester came," Tweety said as he swung on the swings.

Sylvester glared at him. "When was the lasth time I tried to catch you?"

"Yesterday," Tweety said.

"Well I'll have you know I have a new obsthession!" Sylvester exclaimed.

"And what exactly is that Sly?" Wile E asked.

Sylvester hadn't thought anyone would ask him what it was. He leaned up against the monkey bars thinking. "I'll get back to you on that."

Daffy and Melissa sat on the other park bench.

"Daffy what do you have against Dolores anyway?" Wile E asked.

"Well…"

"You're not gonna tell the story are you?" Bugs asked warily.

"Yesth, asth a matter of fact I wasth."

"But I already know the story!"

"How do you know the sthory?"

"We were there!" Sylvester exclaimed.

"Well I'm telling it anyway," Daffy said. "It all stharted when we were stheven yearsth old growing up in Brooklyn, New York…"

Bugs, Daffy, and Sylvester lived in New York together before they came to L.A, although Bugs was born in Brooklyn while Daffy and Sylvester moved from Manhattan. People would often call them the Three Musketeers when they were little because they always hung out together.

It starts when they were riding their bikes down the sidewalk with Bugs lagging behind.

"Hey you guys, wait up!"

Sylvester and Daffy stopped. "Keep up Bugs, geez," Sylvester said.

Suddenly Bugs zoomed past them with a smug grin on his face. "Psyche!"

Daffy and Sylvester pedaled to keep up. "No fair!"

That's pretty much how their afternoon went with the addition of ice cream and jumping out of a bush and scaring a few passing bystanders.

When Daffy came home he threw his Wolverine helmet onto the floor and found his parents in the living room. "I'm back, if you didn't know that already."

"Come here Daffy," said his mom who looked much like him with pale blonde hair.

Daffy went in there. "Did sthomething bad happen?"

"No of course not," said his father. "We're going to have another baby!" they exclaimed. They expected Daffy to jump for joy but instead he just stared. "We're going to have a baby!" they said again. Daffy kept the same expression on his face and raised his eyebrows.

"Why?"

"Because that's just how it happened. Aren't you excited, you're going to have a new brother or sister."

"Why should I want a new brother or sthister? Sthistersth are dumb and I already have Bugsth and Sylvester. Big whoop."

"Think about it Daffy, it's going to be great," his mother said.

"Okaaay, I'm going to go pretend to do my homework," Daffy said turning to go upstairs even though he really didn't have any homework. He just wanted to get out of the conversation. Why the freak should he want a brother or sister?

"_So that's it? You get the news and don't care? Most kids would be excited about that Daffy." Lola said. _

"_Daffy wasn't most kids," Bugs said with a laugh. _

"_Shut up! Let me tell it!" Daffy exclaimed._

So, the next day at recess Bugs and Daffy were tossing a football. Sylvester was in the nurse.

"_When was Sylvester not in the nurse?" Bugs commented. _

"_I sthwear if you don't shut up and let me tell it…!" Daffy said raising his fist. _

"_Just tell it already!" Melissa exclaimed. _

"My mom sthaid the craziest thing last night. She'sth gonna have a baby," Daffy said as he tossed the ball.

Bugs tossed it back. "I'm sorry about that Daffy. Welcome to my world." Bugs already had an older brother and sister and a baby sister.

Daffy paused when he caught the ball. "Why should I be sthorry about that?" He threw the ball.

"Have you _met_ my brother and sisters? Say hello to a living nightmare." He threw the ball and it hit Daffy in the face.

"Hey! You did that on purposthe!"

"Just throw it Duck!" Daffy threw it extra hard and Bugs caught it with ease.

"But I'd be the oldesth right? Talk about advantage. And anyway, what do you know, it's just one baby."

"Take it from a guy with experience, living nightmare."

"Stho you mean that they're gonna sthpend all their money on it and I won't get shit anymore?"

"_Daffy you were seven years old, stop cursing," Lola said._

"_Fine."_

"Stho you mean, that they're gonna sthpend all their money on it and I won't get crap anymore?"

Bugs nodded. "Mmm-hmm. I didn't think so when my mom had Sherice, don't count on getting that Atari video game."

"_Nine monthsth later…"_

Daffy's mom brought his new baby sister Dolores through the front door. "Daffy this is your new sister Dolores," she said bending down so he could see.

Daffy gave her a disgusted look. She had the same white blonde hair his mother had and she was staring at him with wide eyes. "Don't look at me like that."

Suddenly she grabbed his beak and started yanking it left and right. His parents just laughed and "Aww"ed. Daffy removed Dolores' hand and she laughed. "It's not funny, shut up."

"Don't be mean Daffy." They started to carry Dolores upstairs. "You need to be quiet while she's asleep Daffy," his dad said.

"What?! I wasth gonna blasth the TV like I alwaysth do."

"No Daffy. You'll wake her up."

Later that night Daffy went into the baby's room that used to be _his_ playroom. Dolores was standing in her crib giving him what looked like a baby version of the evil eye.

Daffy leaned against the doorway with his arms crossed. He still hadn't forgotten what Bugs told him. "You know, you may have stholen _my_ playroom and _my_ parentsth but you forgot one thing, my dignity!" Suddenly she threw a toy at his face. "Okay, now you have that too." Dolores gave him a smug look and mad baby noises. "Oh shut up, at least I can talk and I can tell mom and dad what you did to me!"

Suddenly Dolores started to cry. "No! No don't cry! They're gonna blame me!"

"Daffy are you disturbing your sister?!" his mom said.

"No I'm not. She threw sthomething at me! She stharted it! It was her! Not me! Her!" Daffy exclaimed.

"Nonsense. Go to your room."

Daffy saw Dolores give him a smug wave and he could see the smirk on her face. "Why you…!"

"Daffy!"

"I'm going!"

"_And it all went downhill from there," Daffy said. _

"_You don't know how many times he came to my house to complain only to be annoyed by my brother and sisters," Bugs said. _

"_And he came to my housthe only to be kicked out by my mom after sthix hours," Sylvester said. _

"_Yeah, they don't care about that. Let me finish!" Daffy exclaimed. _

"_You're the one that stopped," Bugs pointed out. _

"_ANYWAY, it was about four yearsth later…"_

Daffy totally resented Dolores and his parents. Dolores because she always seemed perfect to everyone in every way imaginable. That used to be him. His parents totally favored Dolores and bought her everything she wanted. That was also him. He spent most of his time out of the house with Bugs and Sylvester. When he came home he tried to avoid Dolores and his parents as much as possible because they totally got on his last nerves. He was like Lola in that way, hating his parents guts. Unfortunately that wasn't quite possible.

Daffy came home to put his school stuff away and then go back to the court to play a quick game of basketball with the guys.

"Where are you going?" Dolores asked.

"To play basketball without you," Daffy said.

"I wanna come."

"I sthaid without you didn't I?"

"I WANNA GO!" Dolores shouted.

Their mother came in. "What's wrong?"

"I wanna go play basketball with Daffy!"

"Mom tell her she can't go! It'sth justh a bunch of the guysth tossthing a ball around, she won't want to go! I don't want her to go!"

"It's okay Dolores, you can go play basketball with Daffy." She ignored the look on Daffy's face. "Go buy her an ice cream while you're out Daffy."

"I don't have any money! Why the heck doesth she have to go anyway?!"

"Because I said so." She took five bucks out of her pocket. "Here. Buy Dolores an ice cream."

Daffy snatched the money and stomped out the door with Dolores on his tail. They went to the ice cream shop with Dolores babbling the whole way and Daffy ignoring her. "What kind do you want?" he mumbled.

"Strawberry."

"One str…"

"No I want chocolate."

"Chocolate…"

"No vanilla."

Daffy sighed exasperatedly. "Vanilla icthe cream…"

"Ooh mango's pretty."

"WOULD YOU PICK ONE ALREADY?!"

"No strawberry."

Daffy turned to the guy behind the counter who looked amused. "A vanilla icthe cream…"

"I want a waffle cone."

Daffy looked down at his sister. "Shut up Doloresth."

"I'm gonna tell mom…"

They guy gave Daffy the ice cream and they left quickly.

At the basketball court Sylvester and Bugs were there along with their friend Michael from school.

"Daffy it's about time. You're on Michael's team because I don't want you on my team," Bugs said.

"Shut it rabbit, I'm not in the mood."

"What's got you down Daff?" Michael asked.

Bugs snickered. "Life."

"Bugsth I sthwear…"

"Can I play?" Dolores asked.

"No," Daffy said.

"But mom told you to let me play."

"No she didn't. Go sthit over there and shut up!"

"Aw Daffy no need to be hurtful," Sylvester said.

"Yeah she's only trying to be nice," Michael said.

Daffy picked up the ball and gave it an aggravated toss at Sylvester. "Are we playing or not?!"

"I'm gonna tell mom you won't let me play!"

"I don't care, tell mom, what'sth she gonna do?"

Later…

"Daffy why didn't you let Dolores play? You could've taught her! Why are you always so mean to her?! Go to your room mister…!"

"_I feel you Daffy," Lola said. "My mother is the same way."_

"_I still say you're mean Daffy. M-e-a-n…" Melissa said before she was cut off by Daffy kissing her. _

_He laughed. "Shutsth her up every time. Stho anyway…no commentsth Bugsth?"_

_Bugs realized he hadn't said anything yet. "Um, why…no I've got nothing."_

_Tweety laughed. "That's a first."_

"_Skip to the interesthing part," Sylvester said. _

"_What'sth the interesthing part?" Sylvester gave him a DUH look. "Oh that interesthing part." _

When Daffy was fifteen, he found out about this show Looney Tunes and they were holding auditions in about a month. He jumped at the thought. People always said he was built for the big screen. They said that about him, Bugs, and Sly. He also saw it as an opportunity to get out of this hellhole called New York. He never understood why people liked it so much. Too much pollution, although he never tried anything to help stop the pollution.

Aside from that, he could finally get out of his house and away from his god-forsaken family. He'd been anticipating the day he could leave home and go to college but why wait, he was already fifteen, what's a three year difference?

All he had to do now was convince Bugs and Sly to come with him. Even though he treated them like crap half the time, they were his buddies and he wanted to stick by them. So after school the next day he showed them the ad.

"So you guysth, what do think about going to L.A. and auditioning for some show called Looney Tunesth?"

Sylvester and Bugs weren't as enthusiastic as he thought they'd be. "Why?"

"You know, to get out of thisth dump. We're never gonna make it here. We'll be rich, all that money…all that money…" Daffy had always been a greedy slob, no surprise there.

"But we're still in school," Sylvester pointed out knocking Daffy out of his fantasy.

"Stho, they have tutorsth for kidsth in Hollywood," Daffy said. "And I'm not sthaying here another sthecond, Doloresth is turning into an annoying ugly brat."

"Wasn't she always like that?" Bugs asked.

"She'sth worsthe, and that'sth sthaying a lot. C'mon you guysth."

"I don't know Daffy…maybe after high school," Sylvester said.

"Bugsth?"

"I like New York," Bugs said.

"Why?"

"It's quaint." Okay in truth New York wasn't all it's cracked up to be if you've lived there all your life, so quite frankly Bugs didn't care too much for New York.

"But you'll be rich."

"I can get rich in other ways."

Daffy could tell Bugs was trying to avoid the subject. "Why don't you wanna do it rabbit?!"

"I don't wanna be an actor okay? There'll be people following me everywhere asking for my autograph. I'll be an architect and design my own house one day or school, then I'll get rich off of that." And that's exactly what he did.

"Well fine, don't do it you guysth. But I'm going. I'm not sthaying here. I was born for the big screen. And if you think I'm gonna sthit around in this lamo city with my brat sthister you've got another thing coming!" He started to stomp off.

"Stho that's it? You're going by yourself?" Sylvester asked.

"Yesth! And you can't stop me!" He stomped off towards his house.

A few weeks later Bugs and Daffy were in Bugs' backyard drinking ginger ale.

"You sthure you don't wanna come?" Daffy asked.

"I think you're making a big mistake Daffy. You're going to Los Angeles _alone_ with _no_ money and the only reason you won't be homeless if you don't get in is because of you eighty something year old grandmother."

"But I'll be rich. Do you know how much actorsth get paid? I'll have my own home in Beverly Hillsth in a few monthsth. I swear when I'm rich and famous you'll be _stho_ sorry. Maybe I'll come back and visit, I might even offer you a few million dollarsth, not! Me offer you money, that'sth a laugh…"

"Daff, you're a conceited brat you know that?" Bugs said getting tired of Daffy going on about how great he was and how much money he'll have.

"And you're a long eared idiot for turning down all that money. You'll be bowing to my greatnessth…"

"Shut up Daffy. No one's gonna be bowing to your greatness okay? No one cares. Just go to L.A. Be rich. I don't care."

Daffy was insulted. "Well fine, be that way Bugsth! The next time you sthee me, I'll have a sthummer home in Hawaii." Him and Bugs stared each other down giving each other the evil eye. Then Daffy turned and left Bugs' house. (P.S. he did eventually get a summer home in Hawaii).

"_Wow, what a way to end a good friendship…" Tweeety said._

"_Shut up, you'll ruin the moment!" Daffy exclaimed. _

Daffy continued stomping away angrily while Bugs' brother seventeen Carlton came outside. "Why is Daffy stomping off angrily dare I ask?"

Bugs stood up and started to go inside. "Because he's a conceited brat and won't admit it."

A week before the auditions Daffy was up in his room packing his stuff. He hadn't told his parents he was going. He figured if they saw he was already packed they couldn't stop him. He'd live with his grandma who lived close to Hollywood until he made enough money to buy his own place in Beverly Hills. He'd be rich and famous, and his face would be blasted all over the country. Bugs, Sylvester, and anyone who tried to stop him will be sorry. Organized plan right? Daffy may be a conceited under achiever, but when he sets his mind to something, he gets it done.

Suddenly Dolores came in, what a way to ruin a great plan. "Where are you going?"

"None of your businessth," Daffy said as he continued to pack his stuff.

"It wouldn't happen to be about that TV show audition I heard you telling Bugs and Sylvester about it."

"You were sthpying on me?!"

"I believe the term is eavesdropping," Dolores said smugly. "So is that where your going?" Daffy didn't answer. "I'm gonna tell mom you're leaving."

Daffy threw a pillow at her. "You'd better not!"

"Mom, dad! Daffy is leaving!" Dolores shouted.

Their parents came in and saw Daffy's packed suitcases. "Where are you going?!"

"I'm going to L.A. to be in that show Looney Tunesth." Daffy said.

"You never told us you were leaving," his father said.

"I don't see why I have to," Daffy said.

"You're still in school," his mom tried to reason.

"Stho, I'll be tutored."

"Daffy Duck, you have no money, no place to live, how do you expect to make it in L.A?" his father asked.

"I'll go live with grandma. Do you two know how much money actorsth make? I'll have my own place in Beverly Hillsth in a few monthsth. I can't stay in this dump anymore. Especially in thisth housthe! Stho good riddance!"

"Daffy I forbid you to go to L.A!" his dad exclaimed.

"I don't care! I'm going anyway, and you can't sthop me." Daffy picked up his stuff and stomped past them. "When you sthee me on TV you'll all be sthorry."

Dolores gave him a smug wave. "Bye Daffy, don't ever come back!"

"Oh believe me I won't! I hope I never sthee you again Doloresth!" And with that he left his house.

"_Okay so let me get this straight," Wile E said. "You had no money, no more family, and no idea whether you'd come back let alone be let back into your house even if you did come back?"_

_Daffy nodded. "That'sth right."_

_Wile E slapped him. "What the freak is wrong with you man!"_

"_It all worked out in the end didn't it? You guysth should be glad I did it!" Daffy exclaimed. _

"_I'm glad you did it Daffy," Melissa said. _

"_So where does Bugs and Sylvester come into this?" Tweety asked._

"_Well three yearsth later…"_

"_Wait let me tell it!" Bugs exclaimed. _

"_Why should you tell it?" Daffy asked. _

"_Because you don't know what happened while you were gone. This is the best part!"_

_Daffy slouched on the bench with his arms crossed. "Fine, you tell it."_

_Bugs cleared his throat dramatically. "Well, three years later…_

It was the summer Bugs and Sylvester graduated. They were walking home from the park where they were playing soccer with some friends.

"So Bugs, I'm leaving next week," Sylvester said.

"Where are you going?" Bugs asked.

"Los Angelesth."

Bugs was afraid of where this was going. "Why?"

"Because I was gonna be in that show with Daffy…"

"WHY? You're the one that said you didn't wanna do it. C'mon Sly get real!" Bugs exclaimed.

"I sthaid I'd do it after I graduated. And look, I graduated last month! Besidesth, Daffy's really bringing in the moolah over there and he'sth got a house in Beverly Hillsth!"

"So you'd just leave me here all alone?!"

"I thought you were leaving to go to college anyway?!" Sylvester exclaimed.

"So what, you'd leave me here next week and expect me to spend my summer alone and bored. What kind of friend are you?!"

"You can alwaysth come…"

"I DON'T WANNA BE A STUPID ACTOR SLY!!!!"

"Okay Bugs, calm down. I'm sthorry okay?"

"Sorry don't cut it," Bugs mumbled.

When Bugs got home his ten year old sister Alana ran up to him. "I hear you lost the game." Alana had a tendency to somehow know what everyone did and she was extremely nosy.

"How'd you hear that? You weren't there."

"By the way, you're in trouble."

Bugs found his parents sitting at the kitchen table looking very serious. "Bugs, we have something to tell you…"

"Did something bad happen?"

"No not at all," his mother Marianna said. "We're sending you to L.A. with Sylvester."

Bugs looked at them in horror. "Why?! I don't know how many times I have to tell you people, I don't wanna be an actor and I don't wanna be in that stupid show!"

"But Daffy is there, when was the last time you talked to him?" his dad Leo said.

"I don't give a crap about Daffy." Bugs hadn't talked to Daffy for who knows how long. In truth he really missed him. It just wasn't the same without him. It wasn't as much fun picking on Sylvester, he didn't react the way Daffy did. But he wasn't about to admit any of that to anyone.

"Don't you wanna be successful when you grow up Bugs? We're only thinking of you," Marianna said.

"I'll be rich some other way," Bugs mumbled. "I'm almost eighteen, I'm practically an adult! You can't force me to go to L.A. I don't have to listen to you."

"But you're not eighteen, you're not an adult, you live in my house, you don't pay mortgage, and therefore you're going to L.A."

Carlton came into the kitchen from the hallway where him, Alana, Lena Marie, and Sherice were listening. "Can I interject?"

"NOT NOW!" Leo, Marianna, and Bugs shouted.

Lena Marie pulled Carlton back into the hallway. "Shut up Carlton!"

"Look, I'm _not_ going to L.A. and you're _not_ getting me on that plane tomorrow. Case closed!"

"_Who would've thought, Bugs Bunny didn't wanna come to L.A. in the first place," Lola said. _

"_So anyway, when we got here…"_

"_Nah Bugs, you're skipping a part," Sylvester said. _

"_What part?"_

"_At the plane station."_

_Bugs looked away innocently. "I don't know what you're talking about."_

"_Fine, I'll tell it then." Sylvester said eagerly. "When we got to the plane station the next day…"_

Bugs clawed at the floor trying to resist getting on the plane. "NO! NO! I DON'T WANNA GO! YOU CAN'T MAKE ME! I DON'T WANNA BE A STAR! YOU CAN'T GET ME ON THAT PLANE! HELP! HELP! YOU BRUTES!"

Marianna and Leo had him by his ankles dragging him to the plane gate. "You're going to Hollywood whether you want to or not!" Leo exclaimed.

When they got to the plane Bugs held onto the door determined not to get on that plane. He didn't care if people were staring. "I'm. Not. Going. To. Hollywood!"

Sylvester and Bugs' brothers and sisters were standing there watching.

"Ever seen an eighteen year old act like that?" Sylvester asked.

Carlton snorted. "Ever seen parents force their son to go to Hollywood?"

_Everyone except Bugs was laughing their heads off. _

"_Yeah, yeah, have you're little laugh," Bugs said. "But if you were being forced onto a plane across the U.S you'd do the same thing."_

"_I still think it's funny. I can totally picture you acting like that," Lola said. _

"_On the plus side, I got rich, built my house, built my school." Bugs turned to Lola. "Met you." He took her face into his hands and kissed her. "Married you." He kissed her again. _

"_Love me," Lola said. _

_Bugs laughed. "Love you." He kissed her one more time. _

"_You know what's ironic?" Wile E said. "You were the youngest out of them and you're the one that didn't want to come here in the first place yet here you are more famous than all of us."_

"_I would've been the famousth one," Daffy complained. "But oh no, he just had to come in and steal my glory. Now here I am playing sthecond banana to sthome long eared, carrot munching…"_

_Bugs sighed and took his starburst out of his pocket and tossed it to Daffy. He hated it when he went into one of his little why-am-I-second-to-you speeches. Anything to shut him up. "Catch Daff."_

_Daffy caught the starburst. "Gee, thanksth Bugsth."_

"_So when was the last time you saw Dolores?" Tweety asked._

_Daffy tried to think of the year. "I think it was back in '63…"_

The last time Daffy saw Dolores was when he had gone to his summer home in Hawaii. Dolores had apparently been there on vacation with some friends. So Daffy had gone out to the game store to see what Hawaii had to offer when he spotted Dolores outside.

"Doloresth?"

Dolores tossed her long blonde hair to the side. "Daffy? Never thought I'd see you again."

"What are you doing here?"

"I came here to see you, and catch up, and ask you what you've been doing the past what, thirty years?" Dolores said sarcastically.

Daffy rolled his eyes. "Why do I talk to you?" He started to walk away but one question had nagged him for a long time. "What happened when I left?"

"All those times mom and dad called you to convince you to come back. Eventually they gave up, I mean you were rich anyways. But I continued to be the favorite while you were the forgotten child that no one cared about." She smirked at Daffy's glare. "You're the one that left why do you care?"

"Just curiousth."

"Good, I thought you were thinking about going back. Mom and Dad didn't want you back you know. After you were such a jerk. Why I outta steal you in the face right where you stand…" Truthfully his parents had always wanted him back but Dolores was just trying to make him feel bad.

"Aw shut up Dolores! I left becausthe of you! Becausthe you were the most annoying thing in my life! I never wanted to sthee you again. Too bad I'm seeing you now."

Dolores' face turned angry. "It's a small world."

"Who caresth how small the world is?! I'm leaving tomorrow and I never want to see you're ugly face again!"

"Who said I wanted to see yours." Dolores turned and left. And Daffy went back to his house.

"_What a family reunion," Lola said. _

_Melissa crossed her arms. "I can't believe you said that to your sister Daffy! After all, you hadn't seen her in years. That's just…"_

"_Whatever Melissa. I haven't stheen that girl sthince and now she'sth ruining my life again."_

"_I still say you're mean Daffy, whether I like you or not you are m-e-a-n mean!" Melissa exclaimed. _

_Daffy popped a starburst into his mouth rolling his eyes. "Yes Melissa, I know." _


	3. Snow In LA, What the Heck

_Chapter 3:_

_Snow in L.A.—What the heck?!_

Jr woke up Wednesday morning and looked out the window. What he saw made him almost explode with joy. The entire backyard was covered in a sparkling white sheet and it was still coming down. It had to have been at least three feet.

He punched his fist into the air. "WOO HOO! IT SNOWED! IT SNOWED! YES! NO SCHOOL!" He ran into Sylvester and Sylvia's room. The two of them were fast asleep until Jr jumped onto their bed. "MOM! DAD! MOM! DAD! WAKE UP! WAKE UP!"

Sylvia put a pillow over her head. "Go back to sleep Jr."

"BUT LOOK OUTSIDE! LOOK OUTSIDE! IT SNOWED LAST NIGHT!"

"Jr it doesn't snow in California," she said.

"YEAH IT DOES! YEAH IT DOES! LOOK! LOOK! GET OUT THE BED AND LOOK!"

Sylvester sighed and got out the bed. He was only doing this to prove to Jr that he was losing his mind. He knew the kid didn't want to go to school that day but making up this stuff about snow was his saddest attempt yet.

Jr got off their bed and pulled Sylvester to the window. "THERE'S REALLY SNOW! I'M NOT MAKING THIS UP! LOOK! LOOK!"

Sylvester yawned and opened the curtains. "I'll look but I'm telling you there's no…" He opened his eyes and saw it. Their whole neighborhood sparkled with pearly white snow. He started jumping around like Jr did when he woke up. "WOO HOO! IT SNOWED! IT SNOWED! YES!"

Sylvia went to the window if she needed to put her boys in a soft room. When she saw the snow she jumped around with them and they all did a victory dance. "WOO HOO! IT SNOWED! IT SNOWED! YES!"

The phone rang. Sylvester picked it up off the night table. "Did you look outside yet?!" he asked not caring who it was.

"Sh'yeah I did! Call everyone you know and tell them we're going to the park! Be there in two minutes!" Bugs exclaimed.

"Not possthible!" Sylvester said with excitement still in his voice. "But we'll meet you at your housthe!"

"A'ight! See ya in thirty seconds!"

"Sthill not possthible!"

"I don't care! It snowed for god's sakes; no one gives a flyin fadoodle what's possible and what's not! At this point anything's possible!"

"Good point! Now stop talking to me and get ready rabbit!" He hung up before Bugs could say another word.

"Can I call my friends?!" Jr asked excitedly.

"Call everyone you know! It's not every day it snows in California!" Sylvia exclaimed.

**

Later they met Bugs and Lola in their front yard. Lola and Sylvia hugged each other and jumped around screaming. "It snowed! It snowed! Yes! Haha!"

"C'mon ladies," Bugs said. They went down the street chatting nonstop about the snow and what they're gonna do at the park. Then they passed Pepe Le Pew's house. Bugs nodded towards the door and they went through the white gate which really blended in with the snow (Jr almost bumped into it). Bugs rang the doorbell.

Pepe Le Pew came to the door in a red velvet robe and hot chocolate in a TIS THE SEASON mug. Penelope was sitting on the couch in front of the fire reading Pride and Prejudice. "Bonjour everyone," Pepe said.

"Hi you guys, wanna come in?" Penelope asked.

"Dude, you guys are sitting around inside being lazy when there's like, four feet of snow outside?! C'mon this is a monumental moment in history! Get outside now!" Lola exclaimed. She didn't understand how anyone could sit inside on a day like this.

"I don't wanna go outside. We were just gonna sit in here where it's warm and relax," Pepe said.

"No you're gonna come out here and go to the park with us and you're gonna like it!" Sylvia said.

"I'll pass," Penelope said.

Jr made a snowball and prepared to throw it at Bugs. "Hey Bugs, heads up!"

Jr threw the ball but Bugs ducked. The snowball flew inside and put out the fire in the fireplace with a _sssss_. "Whoops."

Penelope looked at the fire and then outside. "Hmmph, snow is evil."

"I guess you two have no choice but to come outside," Bugs said. They grabbed Pepe Le Pew and Penelope, grabbed their coats, and dragged them outside. And so they couldn't get back in Bugs boarded up the door, put chains on it, and put a security system on it so that they couldn't get in even if they undid the other stuff (all in five seconds if I may add). "Now let's go."

"Fine, I'm not doing this because you boarded up my door or anything, I'm just doing this because French people are nice," Pepe Le Pew said.

**

At the park, aside from Sly, Sylvia, Jr, Bugs Lola, Pepe and Penelope, Daffy, Melissa, Sam, Taz, Wile E, Road Runner, Tweety, Porky, Elmer Fudd, Foghorn Leghorn, and Dolores showed up.

They spent hours on these awesome snow people. Melissa made one of herself in a dramatic model-like pose.

Elmer Fudd blew the head off of it with his gun while Melissa watched in horror.

Bugs and Lola made one of the two of the hugging.

Elmer Fudd blew the heads off of them. "Hey!"

Sylvester made one of himself catching Tweety.

Elmer Fudd destroyed that one too.

Dolores tried to help Daffy with his in her sad attempt to make up with him. But he pushed her away and said, "Go make your own sthnowman; I don't need your help!" In the end Daffy came out with one of himself looking like a pimp.

Elmer Fudd blew the head off of that one. "Why I outta…!"

Sylvia made Santa Claus. She patted a little more snow onto his beard. "Done."

Elmer blew that one to bits. "No! I worked so hard on that!"

Taz spun around and made a ferocious Rudolph the Red Nosed Reign Deer. He even put a glowing red nose on it.

Elmer Fudd destroyed that one so that all that was left was the blinking red nose. He also went around destroying everyone else's snow people. Then they all formed an angry mob and chased him out of the park.

Soon they all decided to join the kids who were sledding down the hill.

"Alright y'all check this out," Bugs said. "I bet you guys have never seen this one before." Him and Daffy were on one sled and they looked like they were about to do something big. Wile E, Sam, and Taz took out notepads to take notes and Tweety took out a video camera. "Ready Daff?"

"Let's do thisth. Watch and learn amateursth." They took off down the hill at top speed. They leaned forward and the sled lifted off the ground high into the air. They started to flip but lost control of the sled. It fell to the ground on its side and Bugs and Daffy tumbled down the hill and slammed into a pile of snow.

"Oh! And they are down!" Foghorn said.

"I-i-i-i watched, but I don't think I l-l-l-learned anything," Porky said.

Wile E read over his notes. "Let me get this straight, take off at 70 mph, get half way through a flip, fall to the ground, tumble down a hill, and slam into a snow drift in a heap, right?"

Bugs shook the snow out of his hair. "Shut up Wile E."

Tweety looked over his video. "This is definitely going on YouTube."

Lola leaned next to him. "Let me see." Tweety played it again. "Ooh, that's good. It should be on America's Funniest Videos too."

After covering the ground with snow angels someone hit Daffy in the back of the head with a snowball. He turned around angrily. "Alright, who did it?!"

Everyone pointed to Dolores. If looks could kill Dolores would be beyond dead. Daffy hit her in the face with a snowball.

Road Runner gasped and pointed. "Daffy returned fire!"

"IT'S WAR!!!!" Lola shouted.

They broke off into two teams. Lola, Bugs, Sam, Taz, Sly, and Dolores were on the Rock On Dude team, and Daffy, Melissa, Sylvia, Penelope, Wile E, and Pepe were on the Awesome People Who Are Going To Win team, or the acronym APWAGTW team. Foghorn Leghorn was the commentator. They quickly built these elaborate forts in a matter of seconds. On Bugs' team, their fort looked like a castle and on Daffy's team it looked like a military ground. Both had barbed wire and land mines around them.

"ATTACK!" Sylvia shouted. Her team started throwing snowballs.

"ATTACK!" Sylvester shouted. His team started throwing snowballs.

"And the fight I say the fight has begun. Snowballs are going left and right! These forts are so awesome aren't they? A battlefield of design I say design I tell ya, design that is…"

"Stick to the fight Foghorn!" Wile E shouted.

"Right and what an awesome fight it is! Oh! And Daffy takes one right in the noggin! I believe that one came from his sister that he didn't I say didn't bother to tell us about that is! What have you got to say to that Mr. Duck?" As a response Daffy threw a particularly large one at Dolores. "And what a response that was. Oh! And Dolores throws one back at Daffy, battle of the siblings I say."

For the next fifteen minutes all you saw was this ten foot arch of snow across the park flying form one fort to the other.

"Y'all, use these," Sam said to his team. He had six bazooka guns. The loaded them with snow and got ready to fire. "And…FIRE!" They shot their bazooka's and the other teams was covered in snow.

"Dang! And the Rock On Dudes take out the bazooka guns. The APWAGTW are getting clobbered I say clobbered. Creamed that is. They'd better I say better do something quick before they lose the match. C'mon you guys do something! Don't just stand there! Fine a weapon! Some ammo I say some ammo! Thye're gonna beat you! Do somethi…"

Wile E got a cannon. "You guys, give me some snow!" Wile E said desperately. They passed him snow and he shot it out of the cannon quickly sending big balls of snow at the other team.

"And the APWAGTW have bounced back with a cannon." Wile E blew a hole in the Rock on Dudes fort. "And the Rock on Dudes take 40% damage on the port side!" The Rock on Dudes blew their bazooka's into the APWAGTW fort leaving holes. "The APWAGTW take 40% damage…everywhere! And the fire, snow that is, goes back left, and right, and left, and right, and another left and a right…"

The fight went on for hours, no one would surrender. Eventually Dolores and Penelope gave up but everyone else kept going, they sure weren't gonna give the other team the satisfaction of winning.

Foghorn leaned up against a tree tiredly. "Left, right, left, right…you know someone's gotta surrender sometime."

The snowballs continued for more hours.

"You know I think they're getting a little too carried away with this. That last one had Tweety's cage in it," Foghorn said holding up Tweety's cage that had hit him in the head.

About an hour later Foghorn had stopped talking (what, Foghorn stopped talking?!). He woke up when he didn't hear snowballs, yelling and/or a random curse word every now and then.

"What I say what's going on children, why'd you stop that is?"

"We signed a peace treaty Foghorn," Bugs said. "We're done fighting."

They all started to part ways. "Bye." "Bye you guys." "See you tomorrow."

Foghorn apparently wasn't gonna let them give up that easily. "What?! You're not giving up that fast are you?! C'mon! What happened to winning? Man, you guys are wimps!"


	4. Arguments Shouldn't Involve Knives

Chapter 4:

Arguments Shouldn't Involve Knives

Bugs and Lola were putting up their gigantic Christmas tree. It was like, twenty feet tall. How they got it into the living room is a real mystery.

Lola looked up at it in wonder. "So, like, how do we get all the decorations up there?" she said pointing to the top of the tree.

"With this," Bugs said as he came into the living room with a ladder.

"I have never put up a tree where you have to use construction tools to decorate it," Lola said.

"It's fun trust me. Come help me get these ornaments out of the attic." They went upstairs two floors to the attic which was filled with the most interesting stuff imaginable. It was covered in boxes and boxes of stuff dating back over fifty years ago.

Lola went over to one of those old fashioned record players. "Hey I remember these. My parents used to have one. God this is old!"

"That one's about forty…two, forty three years old," Bugs said. "That box we're looking for should say something like, um, Christmas Ornaments."

"'Kay." Lola went over to a box just out of curiosity and opened it. It was full of photo albums. She took out the one and opened it. The first picture was a black and white picture of Bugs, Sylvester and Porky with cigars. They looked like they were in front of the Gateway Arch in St. Louis. "Shame Bugs."

"What?" Bugs said coming over to her.

"You used to smoke?"

"No…well maybe once or twice. They forced me to take that picture okay? Sylvester and Porky were the smokers. We set up our own personal rehab for them and tied them up for a whole month. It actually worked."

Lola turned to another page. And there was another black and white picture of Bugs and some famous dude. "No way! Is that Smoky Robinson?!"

"In the flesh. There's a couple in there with the Temptations, the Supremes, and Michal Jackson too."

Lola turned to another page and there were a few pictures of Bugs in a Navy uniform. "You were in the Navy?"

"Well, not exactly. More like an honorary thing since WB did all this stuff about the army during the war. But I served for them occasionally." Bugs examined the pictures. "Gosh these things are old."

Lola closed the album. "You're interesting, you know that?"

"So I've been told."

"Hey, those boxes is right behind you," Lola said.

Bugs handed her the smaller one and they took them downstairs.

"Hey look, I bought these ornaments with our faces on them. I got them fifty percent off at Wal-Mart." Bugs took these different colored Christmas balls out of a box with the faces of all the Looney Tunes' faces on them.

"Gotta love Wal-Mart. Always low prices," Lola said quoting the commercial.

They put up tons of blinking colored lights. Then sparkling silver garlands, red and blue chains of beads, their ornaments, rein deer, Santa Clauses, snowmen, and tons of other ornaments, candy canes (which wouldn't last very long).

On the radio, Silent Night came on. Lola put kissed the ornament with Bugs' face on it then hung it up humming to the music. Suddenly Bugs pulled her into a slow dance. They glided around the room and Bugs twirled her and dipped her.

"Silent night  
Holy night  
All is calm  
All is bright  
Round young virgin Mother and Child  
Holy infant so tender and mild  
Sleep in heavenly peace…!"

After the song was over and the guy on the radio started talking. Lola looked Bugs in the eyes. "You're so awesome."

"Tell me something I don't know."

"Your fly is open."

Bugs looked down. "What?"

Lola walked back over to the tree laughing.

"That wasn't funny!"

"Yeah it was," Lola said still laughing.

"There's something on the back of your pants," Bugs said.

Lola tried to brush it off. "What?"

Bugs laughed. "Just my imagination."

Lola took a pillow off the couch and hit him in the head. "That wasn't funny."

"Yeah it was." Bugs put his arms around her. "Out of love Lola."

"I'll accept that. C'mon let's finish this tree."

They finished the tree and finally it was time for the star.

"I wanna put the star on," Lola said. Bugs handed her the gold star and she climbed up the ladder. She reached up but could barely reach the top. "Almost…got it!" She climbed started to climb off the ladder but fell. "AH!" Luckily Bugs caught her.

Lola observed their tree. "Not bad. We did good Mr. Bunny."

"Yup. Now we just have to put up the stuff outside," Bugs said.

Lola looked up at him. They'd spent hours just putting up that tree, and the front yard was a lot bigger than the tree. "It's not a lot is it?"

Bugs sensed the wariness in her voice. "Just that stuff over there," he said pointing to the stuff they hadn't put on the tree, tons more lights and other decorations.

"Um, maybe we should take a break. Sit down over lemonade or better yet, hot chocolate," Lola said.

Bugs laughed. "Alright, alright, we can take a break. Whatdya say we head over to Daffy's to annoy him?"

"Sounds fun." Lola went to go get their coats out of the closet and tossed his to him. "Honestly, I don't know how you ever put this stuff up by yourself."

Bugs put his arm around her and they left the house. "It ain't that hard, you're just not used to it."

"Oh yeah, who else is used to decorating a skyscraper tree and a house as big as the World Trade Center?"

"It is not that big."

They looked back at their huge house. Lola nodded. "Yeah it is." She took a candy cane out of her pocket and bit it.

Bugs pulled her to him and kissed her and snatched the candy cane out of her mouth while he kissed her. Then he went over to her Ferrari in the driveway. It took Lola a second to figure out what just happened but when she realized it she got mad. "BUGS! YOU JERK!"

**

In Daffy's house he was just finishing putting up his tree which was normal sized unlike Bugs', when Dolores came through his front door.

"Hi Daffy!"

Daffy ignored her.

"_Hi Daffy_!" she repeated.

"What?!" Daffy exclaimed.

"So have you considered that truce yet?" Dolores asked as she sat on the couch behind him.

"I sthill don't believe you. Asth sthoon as I say 'sure Doloresth we can have a truce' you're gonna do sthomething bad to me just to get on my nervesth." He picked up a blue glass ball out of a box to put on the tree. He left the room to go get more from the basement with Dolores on his heels.

Dolores examined all his game systems (Daffy was a video game addict). She picked up his Xbox. "Cool Xbox. Can I play?"

"It'sth broken," Daffy said as he tossed things out of the storage closet.

"You know there's a neater way to do things. You don't have to be so disorganized all the time."

"I don't need you to comment on everything I do Doloresth." He went back up stairs with a box full of more ornaments and Dolores still followed.

"What's that?!" Dolores asked pointing to the floor and sounding alarmed.

Daffy dropped the ball and it shattered at his feet. "What? What'sth what?" He turned around and saw Dolores laughing her head off.

"That's why these days, people get plastic balls! Ha, ha, ha!"

"Once again, you've oversthayed your welcome." He pulled Dolores off the couch and pushed her out the door.

As soon as he closed it and started to walk away she came back in. "You forgot to lock the door. Honestly Daffy, how do you expect to keep burglars out if you leave the door open?"

Daffy pushed her out again. "Would you get out of here?!" This time he locked the door. A few minutes later all the ornaments were randomly thrown onto the tree. He threw the box across the room and went to the kitchen to eat one of those left over Krispy Kream donuts.

When he walked into the kitchen Dolores was sitting at the table eating a donut. "You still have windows."

Daffy counted to ten in his head to calm down like the therapist said. "Name ten reasonsth why I shouldn't murder you right now. I mean the knivesth are right there, I've got sthome really sharp onesth, you won't feel a thing. Now come on let'sth hear thosthe reasonsth."

"Well, I'm pretty, I'm your sister, I'm eating a donut right now, I'm trying to be nice to you, you won't accept my truce, Christmas is next week, you're gonna be on Santa's naughty list, you'll get coal in your stocking, mom and dad won't be any happier with you than they are now, and everyone who loves me not you will be really sad."

Daffy took a really sharp knife out of the drawer. "Those are sthome _really_ crappy reasonsth Doloresth."

Dolores' eyes got wide. "Daffy, you wouldn't!"

Daffy raised the knife to throw it. "I've got nothing to lose." He threw the knife and Dolores ducked but Daffy missed on purpose…sort of. The knife hit the wall and got stuck in it.

Dolores looked up angrily. "I can't believe you! You're just a heartless tyrant, you know that!" Her eyes got wide as Daffy took another knife out of the drawer. "You wanna play like that do you?" Dolores took the knife out of the wall. "Fine then."

She tried to stab at him but he dodged it. Daffy came back at her and stabbed at her. She moved just in time. She stabbed at his head but he did a matrix move and just missed the knife point to his forehead. He tripped her and she fell to the floor. He tried to get her but she rolled out of the way and he stabbed the floor instead. Dolores stood up and threw the knife Daffy ducked but at that moment Bugs and Lola came in.

Lola's eyes got wide when she saw a knife flying towards her. Bugs pushed her out the way and she slammed against the wall. The knife went right between his ears just missing his head then it hit the wall behind him.

Bugs glared them then bent down next to Lola. "You alright Lo?"

Lola nodded then glared at Daffy and Dolores angrily. "What the heck were you two doing in here? Trying to kill each other?!" Daffy and Dolores didn't say anything. "Well?!"

Daffy pointed to Dolores. "She threw it."

Dolores looked at him in disbelief. "You can't put all this on me Daffy! You threw one at me first!"

"You didn't have to try to sthab me and sthart a fight!"

"I started it did I? I'm not the one that carelessly threw a knife at your head did I?"

"Asth a matter of fact you did!"

"You tried to kill me Daffy!"

"You really think I would've sthabbed you?! I'm not that heartlessth!"

"Yes you are! You're a heartless jerk and that's all you'll ever be!"

"This never would've happened if you'd have justh left like I told you to, would it?!"

"You can't put all this on me Daffy! You're the one that tried to stab me in the first place!"

"You know if you want me to sthab you I will! Now stop being a baby!" Daffy said raising the knife that was still in his hand.

"You're so cruel Daffy Duck! Why am I related to you?!"

"I've been wondering that all my life!"

"SHUT UP!!!!!!" Bugs and Lola shouted. Daffy and Dolores stopped fighting. "How about you meet in the middle and say you were both wrong?!" Bugs said. He pointed to Daffy. "You were wrong for throwing the knife in the first place," he pointed to Dolores "and you were wrong for trying to stab him. You're both acting like a couple of idiots, now stop being babies and stop fighting! It's just annoying!"

"Doloresth…"

Dolores felt that there was an actual apology coming on. "Yes Daffy?"

"GET OUT OF MY HOUSTHE!"

Lola shook her head in disbelief. "Daffy…!"

"Oh don't worry I'm leaving. I don't know why I even try with you! You're just a stubborn bastard! Augh!" Dolores stomped out of the house this time without having to be told to leave twice.

Bugs and Lola gave Daffy a disapproving look.

"What?" He realized he was still holding the knife. He put it behind his back and they still looked at him disapprovingly. "What?!"

"I can't believe you Daffy Duck. Can't you see she's trying to make up with you? She tries to be nice and you try to take her head off with a knife. Your own sister!" Lola exclaimed.

"She'sth the one that tried to sthab me! Lola you don't know Doloresth. As sthoon as I call a truce she'sth gonna dunk my head in the toilet or feed me to the sharksth. Tell her Bugsth. Isn't she evil? She's just trying to play innocent because she'sth around you guysth!" Daffy exclaimed.

"I don't know Daffy, maybe she really is trying to make up with you," Bugs said.

Daffy looked at him in disbelief. "Oh no, not you too!"

"I mean, think about it Daff. She randomly comes over here unannounced and says she wants to make up. Don't you think if she didn't want to she wouldn't try so hard or she wouldn't be out on your front porch crying her eyes out?"

"You're just on her sthide that's all you are, all of you! I know my sthister, she'sth a devil. You'll sthee! No matter what you sthay I'm not giving in to any of her gamesth." Daffy turned around with his arm crossed and pouted to prove that he wasn't about to discuss it anymore.

"Whatever you say Daffy," Bugs said. He honestly didn't feel like arguing with him as he so often did. Lola nodded towards the door and they went to go see if Dolores was okay.

Sure enough she was sitting on the cement steps crying. Lola sat next to her and Bugs sat on the other side of her. "Don't mind Daffy, he's just a stubborn brat," Lola said.

Dolores sniffed. "I really do want to make up with him. We've been fighting all our lives, remember how we used to treat each other Bugs?"

Bugs nodded. "Yeah, not much has changed with the exception of the use of knives in attempt to kill."

Dolores cracked a smile. "Same old Bugs."

"Yeah, talk about wild sense of humor," Lola said punching Bugs lightly in the arm.

Bugs shrugged modestly. "I try."

"Why won't he believe me? I don't want to fight him anymore!"

"Daffy will come around sometime. You've just gotta keep bugging him and he'll give in eventually," Bugs said.

"Do you think I should apologize?" Dolores asked.

Lola shrugged. "It's worth a shot. We should come out of the cold anyways."

They went inside and found Daffy in his living room in his big chair with his back towards them. He was flipping through the sports channels not really caring what was on at the moment.

"Um, Daffy?" Daffy didn't answer. Dolores decided to go on anyway. "I'm sorry I threw that knife at you, and called you a stubborn bastard, and annoyed you."

Daffy wanted so much to just turn around and punch Dolores in the face but #1 he shouldn't hit a girl and #2 his throat kinda hurt from yelling so much. So he continued flipping through the channels.

Lola put her arm around Dolores. "It's alright Dolores, Daffy really is being a _stubborn brat with no heart_!" The three of them turned around and left Daffy alone.


	5. Crashin the Mall

Chapter 5:

Crashin' The Mall

Lola rode over to the guys who were in front of Starbucks drinking coffee on Bugs motorcycle. "'Sup boys."

"Steal my motorcycle why don't ya," Bugs said. "Just take it without my permission and when you end up dead in the middle of the street and a wheel is broken or something…"

"Actually what happened was…"

Bugs jumped up and inspected his precious Harley. "What happened?" He turned around and saw everyone laughing. "That's not funny okay? The paint could've been scratched."

Lola took a sip of his coffee. "Oh yeah scratched paint would mean he end of the world. And your Friday evening of polishing your precious Harley would totally be wasted. Boo hoo, I'm in tears." She drank more of my coffee.

"Stop drinking my coffee!" Bugs exclaimed.

"Coffee is bad for you," Lola said.

"But…"

"She'sth got a point Bugs, coffee is very bad for you," Sylvester said.

"Then why are you drinking it if it's so 'very bad for you'?" Sylvester didn't have an answer to that one. "That's what I thought."

Daffy finished his coffee in one gulp. "What do you guysth wanna do today?"

"Play in the snow," Tweety said.

Bugs leaned close to Tweety. "Gee, sorry to burst your bubble Tweety, but uh, confidentially...THERE AIN'T NO SNOW!"

"He just said what we wanna do, he never said what do you wanna do that' possible," Tweety pointed out.

"Confidentially of course," Wile E commented.

Melissa, Penelope, and Sylvia came down the street. "Go to the mall and buy presents, fa la la la la la la la la." They saw them sitting there and came over to them. "You guys are coming with us fa la la la la la la la la. Fa la la la laaaa la laaaa laaaaaa laaaaaaaa…"

"Honesthly, you guysth are gonna break all the glassth on the street," Daffy said.

"We were serious when we said you guys are coming with us," Melissa said. She pulled Daffy out of his chair. "Now _come on_!"

"I guess we're crashin' the mall then," Lola said.

"Good, I can get all my Christmas shopping out of the way," Bugs said. He took out a piece of paper and when it unrolled it was at least two feet long. The rest of them stared with wide eyes. "I've got to buy presents for my brother and sisters and nieces and nephews and parents and grandparents and cousins once twice and not removed, not to mention you guys. I'm gonna end up spending over a million dollars…" He paused when he said that. "Eugh! A million dollars. Anyone got a pen?"

Sylvia handed him a pen. "Thanks Sylv." He started to write on the list. "Note to self: buy everything cheap you can find." He gave Sylvia her pen back. "You guys had better appreciate me for this!"

"We'll see about that," Lola said.

"Why do you need everything cheap? You're filthy rich!" Sylvester pointed out.

Bugs rolled up his list. "I'm not spending all my money on you people."

Lola took one last sip of Bugs' coffee then got on his motorcycle. "You coming Bugsy? Or are you gonna _walk_ like the rest of them?"

Bugs sat behind her. "I'll com with you, walking is for nubs."

"I am not a nub!" Sylvester exclaimed.

"Then why are you walking?" Once again, Sylvester didn't have an answer. "Thought so." With that, Lola drove off to the mall while all those other nubs walked.

**

The mall, Hollywood Mall, was absolutely, frickin huge! It was about two mile long with every store you could possibly think of. And it was the perfect place to do a little Christmas shopping.

Lola saw a tattoo stand as they walked in. "Ooh, I'm gonna go get a tattoo!"

Penelope pulled her back. "You are not getting a tattoo."

"Who are you, my mom?"

"Yes, and I say you are not allowed to get a tattoo!" Penelope exclaimed.

"Okay, okay, fine, I won't get a tattoo," Lola said. I'll sneak off and get one later, she thought.

"Ladies, I say we go to, the men's eye candy store!" Melissa exclaimed.

"All hail Victoria's Secret!" Sylvia exclaimed.

"Can we come?" Bugs asked eagerly.

"You really wanna stare at women's underwear for the next hour?" Penelope asked.

Bugs nodded. "Sure, as long as there's a woman in it."

Daffy and Sylvester started to drag him away. "Wrong guy to ask," Daffy said.

"Yeah, this isth the guy that got in a busth full of stripper'sth and rode with them all the way to Vegasth back in the fiftiesth," Sly pointed out.

Lola gave Bugs a disapproving look.

Bugs shrugged innocently. "At least I wasn't married back then." Then he glared at Daffy and Sly. "You were_ not _supposed to tell them that!"

"We're taking you to a more manly sthore," Sylvester said.

"Staring at women in lingerie is manly!" Bugs exclaimed.

The girls started to head over to Victoria's Secret. "What is wrong with your husband?" Melissa asked.

Lola shrugged. "The doctors still haven't figured it out."

**

The guys were on their way to Radio Shack. Then they saw this really, really, expensive looking Volkswagen on display in the middle of the mall.

Daffy pushed them out the way. "Get out the way! Get out the way! It'sth mine you understand?! Mine, Mine Mine!" He jumped into the car. "Mwahahahaha!"

"Uh, Daffy, I don't think you should…"

Daffy turned the key in the ignition and as soon as he did it an alarm went off. "What the f…" Security ran towards him. "Oh shoot!" He jumped out the car and ran back towards Bugs, Sly, Wile E, and Tweety. "Sthave me you guys! Sthave me! They're gonna throw me in the slammer! Don't just sthand there, STHAVE ME!" The security was still after Daffy so he ran as fast as his legs would take him.

The rest of them just stood there not making an effort to save him.

**

The girls paid for their stuff and left Victoria's Secret. Suddenly Daffy ran past with the security guards running after him. "STHAVE ME PEOPLE! STHAVE ME! THEY'RE GONNA THROW ME IN JAIL! STHAVE ME!"

The girls looked at each other. "Okaaay." They roamed the mall stopping in various stores. Lola stubbornly denied everything girly in each one. Then they saw this really cute display of Christmassy clothes in one store. Melissa, Penelope, Dolores and Sylvia dragged Lola in while she resisted.

Lola sat on a chair while they ran in and out of the dressing rooms.

Melissa came out in a long red dress with a lot of feathers around the neck that really complimented her model-like figure and white heels. "You can't not be interested in any of this stuff."

Lola shook her head. "Nope, not interested."

Melissa picked up a random skirt off the rack next to her. "How about this?"

"Melissa, _you_ wouldn't even wear that," Lola pointed out.

"True. Oh fine Lola, be difficult, but you're missing all the fun!" Melissa went back into the dressing room to try on something else.

While she waited, Lola looked around and something caught her eye. Red, knee high socks with different colored Christmas trees on them and the awesome thing was that the Christmas trees lit up! She ran over and grabbed them along with some green gym shorts and a t-shirt with Rudolph on it. Then she ran into the dressing room.

"Lola? Lola, where'd you go?" Penelope asked a few minutes later when she came out in a green dress with fishnet tights.

Sylvia, Dolores and Melissa came out. "Lola?"

Lola came out in the outfit she just picked out. "Ta-da!"

Sylvia, Melissa, Dolores, and Penelope stared for a moment, not exactly what they'd call stylish. Then they laughed. Typical Lola to pick the most non-girly outfit in the store.

"What?"

"You would be the one to pick out something like that," Sylvia said.

"And you guys would be the ones to drag me to the girliest store in the mall! I'm picking the next one!" Lola exclaimed.

"Okay, okay, pick the next one," Dolores said.

"No sports please," Melissa said.

**

They ended up in Dick's Sporting Goods next. Melissa, Penelope, Sylvia and Dolores were in a nightmare but Lola was in heaven.

Lola ran over to the bats and basketballs and NFL cleats. "Oh my god! This is the latest equipment! Totally awesome!" The other's gave her a weird look not understanding a word she just said. "You guys don't appreciate sports at all."

Dolores shook her head. "No, no we don't."

Suddenly Lola felt someone's hands over her eyes. "Guess who."

"Uh, Miley Cyrus?" Lola guessed.

"Eugh, no! Try again."

"Taylor Lautner?"

The rest of the girls sighed dreamily. "Taylor Lautner…"

"You wish. Try again."

"Um, Muggsy Bogues?"

"No." Bugs removed his hands from over her eyes. "It's me Lola." He gave her a long kiss. "You buy something good at Victoria's Secret?"

Lola smiled. "You know it."

Bugs felt something hit him in the head. "What the heck?!"

He saw Tweety behind him holding a tennis racket. Bugs picked up a tennis racket himself and chased Tweety down the tennis aisle.

The rest of them went down the boxing aisle and Lola picked up some red boxing gloves. "Sweet!" Suddenly she felt someone hit her in the back of the head. She turned around and saw Sly with some black boxing gloves.

"Sthorry Lola, I must have slipped," Sly said sarcastically.

"Do I sense a match coming on you guys?" Sylvia asked.

"You sthense right my dear. Unlessth Lola wantsth to back down then…"

"Fine, you're on Sylvester!"

In no time, they set up a ring. Lola was in one corner, Sylvester in the other.

Bugs and Tweety came back. "What are you guys doing?!" Tweety exclaimed.

"Boxing match. Sylvester versus Lola," Daffy said.

Bugs and Tweety came over to Sylvester's side. Daffy massaged his shoulders while Tweety poured water into his mouth. Bugs gave him encouragement. "Okay Sly, double or nothing. You can do this. This is just Lola we're talking about…"

Sylvester spit out his water. "_Just_ Lola?! What kind of understhatement isth that?!"

"Okay maybe not _just_ Lola but you get the point. C'mon, you're a man Sly. I love my wife dearly but she has beaten us one time too many and you must redeem our title as men. Ya understand?"

Sylvester nodded. "I'm ready." Daffy put the thing in his mouth and he stepped out onto the ring.

Meanwhile Dolores massaged Lola's shoulders while Melissa poured water into her mouth. Sylvia gave her encouragement. "Alright Lola, you're going up against Sylvester. You can do this. He may look strong but he is. So…"

"Sylvia that didn't make any sense," Lola pointed out. That got a laugh from Dolores.

"You know what I mean. You can take him. You are a woman Lola! You're on top of the world! I love my Sylvester boo dearly but you must maintain our title as women. Got it?"

Lola nodded. "Got it." Dolores put the thing in her mouth and she stepped out onto the ring.

Lola and Sylvester stood face to face. Penelope was the referee. "Hit your gloves." They hit their gloves up against each other's. "Prepare your stance." Lola and Sly got in position. "And…" After a dramatic pause, Penelope blew the whistle.

Sylvester threw the first punch but Lola blocked it. She tried to punch him but he dodged. Sylvester punched her in the face. He hit her again. And again. Lola tried to fend him off backing up with each blow.

"GO SLY! YEAH! GET HER!" the guys shouted.

Just as Sylvester was about to punch her again Lola ducked making him trip. The she punched him sending him head over heels onto the floor. Sylvester got up, swung his leg out, and tripped her. She hit the floor with a _SLAM! _She immediately jumped up though, and gave him a hard blow in the face.

"YES LOLA! YES!" the girls shouted.

Sylvester punched her in the face making her fall backwards onto the floor. Sylvester came behind her but she didn't see him.

"LOLA LOOK OUT!" Penelope shouted.

Lola turned around and before she knew what happened Sylvester punched her sending her flying back into a shelf, a whole bunch of boxes falling on top of her. Stars floated in a circle around her head.

"YEAH SLY! YOU GOT HER! C'MON SHE'S JUST A GIRL!"

Sylvester smirked at her. "You wanna forfeit?" He came towards her about to give her one last punch but she got up. "Never!" She punched Sly in the face over and over again.

"GET HIM LOLA! GET HIM! YOU'RE GONNA WIN!" the girls screamed.

"KICK HER BUTT SLY! B-U-T-T BUTT!"

Sylvester knocked Lola to the floor in attempt to block her punches. Her was about to hit her but then she kicked him in the nuts. "Ah dang it!" Lola got up and took the opportunity while he was defenseless to knock him to the floor and beat him mercilessly.

"And Sylvester is down!" Penelope said. She got down on her knees by him. "One two three…you're out!" She held up Lola's arm. "Lola wins!" The girls crowded her. "YAY LOLA!"

Sylvester went back over to the guys who gave him a disappointed look.

"Shame on you Sly. You got your butt kicked by a girl!" Daffy exclaimed.

"Itsh nsoth my faushlt! Sche kicshked me in tche nutschth!" Sylvester exclaimed.

"Whaa…?"

Sylvester took the thing out of his mouth. "It ain't my fault! She kicked my in my nutsth!"

"But still…" Bugs said.

"Look, if you got kicked in your frickin nutsth you'd in a _little_ pain too!"

Tweety held up the water bottle. "Open wide." Sly opened his mouth and Tweety sprayed the water into it for what seemed like five minutes straight.

Lola came over to them. "Good match Sly."

"The only reason you won is becausthe you kicked me in my sthensitive spot. Otherwisthe you'd be down right now."

"But I still won," Lola said with a smug smirk.

"All I had to do was punch you in your sthoft spot and you'd be finished."

"Why didn't you do it?"

"Aw c'mon, I'm not that heartlessth. You though, are pretty dang heartlessth. You don't kick a guy in the nutsth when you fight them, that givesth you the upper hand ya know."

"Duh! Why do you think I did it?"

"Because you're a cruel and heartlessth woman!"

This went on for a little while until the rest of them convinced them both to let it go.

After the fight they were playing with some basketballs for a while. Then they got some roller skates, skateboards, and bikes and went to the end of the store to race.

"You guysth are stho hopelessth. I'm gonna win easy. I've got a mountain bike," Daffy said.

"Well I've got a dirt bike. And dirt bikes are faster than mountain bikes," Bugs said.

"Prove it!"

"I'll prove it by beating you in the race," Bugs said. They got ready. "One for the money." Bugs moved forward some. "Two for the show." He moved forward some more. "Three to be ready." He moved forward some more. "And four to…"

"Nah Bugs get back here!" Sylvester exclaimed.

"Yeah stop cheating!" Melissa exclaimed.

Bugs backed up until he was just in front of the starting line.

"All the way rabbit!" Sylvia said.

Bugs backed up. "Fine! It's not like I was cheating. I was gonna wait for you guys to catch up."

"I'll say it this time," Dolores said.

"Pleasthe don't. No one wants to hear your voicthe," Daffy said.

Dolores ignored his comment. "Ready, set, go!"

They took off at full speed dodging frightened people and shelves on their way. Bugs and Daffy were winning. But then there was a person in a blue polo shirt in front of them not looking happy. "Oh shoot!"

They slowed down. Everyone behind them kinda tripped over them and they all fell on the ground. They looked up at the man.

"Yo dude, what givesth?" Daffy asked.

The man continued glaring at them. They saw a gold badge on his shirt that said MANAGER.

"Oh, that gives," Sylvia said.

"Haven't your parents ever told you not to play around in stores?"

Bugs shook his head. "Not to my knowledge…"

"Get out of my store!"

"Do you want us to clean up?"

"GET OUT OF MY STORE!!!!"

They got up as quick as they could and started to leave before the guy started throwing punches. "We're leaving! We're leaving!"

**

The guys walked down the mall after a lunch of Chinese Food/Taco Bell. Now they were focused on what to get their chicks for Christmas.

"You wanna know what I'm gonna get Sylvia?" Sylvester asked.

"What?"

"A straight jacket." Everyone laughed. It seemed appropriate, Sylvester's wife was a little on the crazy side.

"Last time Melissa dragged me in here, she was going on for an hour about these earringsth she wanted. Hey, where'sth Claire'sth?" Daffy asked.

"You going feminine Daffy?" Tweety asked.

"Shut up you know what I mean."

"You should get your sister something?" Bugs said.

"I'm not getting her nothing! She doesn't deserve it, all the times she tried to kill me on Christmasth. You guysth don't know this but it getsth really cold on the east coast in the winter…"

"No duh," Sylvester said rolling his eyes.

"She locked me outside for three hours in 16 degree weather!"

"And why you didn't just come to my house will always be a mystery to me," Bugs said.

"She'sth a demon! She'sth the devilsth daughter I sthwear it!" Daffy exclaimed.

"And what are you, an angel from up above?" Tweety asked.

"Yes."

"You guys wanna help me do my shopping?" Bugs asked

"NO!

"Fine, but do you know where I can get a good deal on flat screen TV's?" Bugs asked

"You expect to sthpend under a million dollarsth and you're trying to get a flat screen TV?" Daffy asked in disbelief.

"My aunt Harriet's never owned a TV okay? She's old fashioned like that.

"I am not helping you shop for 2,000 rabbits!" Tweety exclaimed.

"Actually it's only 77…"

"Whatever!"

"Fine. But I don't know what to get Lola," Bugs complained.

"Get her a necklace," Sylvester suggested.

I got her one for her birthday."

"Get her a car," Daffy said.

"Don't you remember the Ferrari I got her last year?" Bugs asked.

"Oh yeah, the ten million dollar one," Daffy said.

"It was only $600,000," Bugs said.

"Well, what's her latest obsession?" Tweety asked.

"Well she's been obsessed with the Steelers lately probably because of their winning streak…THAT'S IT!" Suddenly Bugs ran past them and up the escalator. "FIND ME A DEAL ON FLAT SCREEN TV'S!" He called to them.

**

The girls were in JCPenny looking for things to get the men in their lives.

"You know what I'm gonna get my Sylvester boo?" Sylvia asked.

"What?"

"A pair of pants."

"Of all the things in the world Sylvia, you're gonna get your husband a pair of pants?!" Melissa exclaimed.

"Pants are convenient, inexpensive, and I swear the guy only has two pairs of pants," Sylvia explained.

"Who in the right mind only has two pairs of pants?" Dolores asked.

"I seems like it."

"What should I get Bugs..." Lola wondered then she came across this huge poster of Michael Jackson with a gold frame and it even had his signature on it and it said it was limited edition. "Whoa this is amazing. Bugs'll love this!" Bugs was a total Michael Jackson freak. He had almost everything Michael Jackson. He was such a fan sometimes it was scary.

A store clerk walked past them. Lola stopped him. "Hey sir, is this thing really limited edition?"

The guy nodded. "Yeah. It's worth over 50 grand."

"I have to get this…" Lola checked the price. "Unfortunately $10,000 dollars is more than I could ever afford".

"I'll give you a discount for $175," the guy said.

"Done!"

After Lola paid for her poster and Sylvia bought the pants (yeah, she was serious) they left JCPenny. Dolores sighed. "What should I get Daffy?"

"But doesn't Daffy like, hate your guts and would rather have you dead on the street in somewhere like Yugoslavia than within a hundred miles of him and…"

Penelope stopped her. "Sylvia, no. Don't start."

"Well, maybe if I get him something good he'll actually want to make up with me." Then it hit her. "I've got it!" She ran past them to some store.

"That is fierce determination right there. I don't think even money will get Daffy to make up with her," Lola said.

**

Around four they all met back up at some pretzel shop and they were loaded with gifts for their friends. It wasn't that late though and they didn't want to go home yet.

"I say we sneak into a movie," Bugs suggested.

"Why don't we just pay for it like innocent bystanders?" Penelope asked.

"Because we're not innocent bystanders," Tweety pointed out. "We're rebellions. We laugh the law in the face. Ha, ha, ha!"

Penelope shrugged. "Fine by me."

In the end they decided on Avatar. And they did sneak in. Bugs, Lola and Dolores went through one door (Daffy refused to go with Dolores). Sly, Sylvia, and Melissa went through another door. And Tweety, Penelope and Daffy, went trough another door. And the bad thing is, they bought popcorn, candy, and got in without getting caught.

After the incredibly awesome movie they decided to head on out babbling away about the movie.

"Omg remember when…"

"That was so vicious when…"

"And then he was all…"

"And it was all BOOM…!"

"And they was all…"

"Yeah, and when they were all…"

"Hey you guys?"

"What?"

"Where's Lola?"

Nobody had even realized Lola had disappeared towards the end of the movie. They shrugged and went to go look for her.

"Hey you guys!" Lola said after a few minutes.

"Where were you? You could at least tell people when you leave," Penelope said.

"But you guys, I got a tattoo. See?" She pulled up her shirt and on her lower back was an elaborately decorated heart with the words **L.B. + B.B**. written in it.

"What did I say about getting a tattoo Lola?" Penelope asked with a motherly tone.

"C'mon Pen, I've wanted a tattoo forever. It's not like you can spank me or anything, I never even let my own mother do that."

"I like it," Bugs said. "So, I know you bought me something. What is it?"

"Oh I bought you something good alright. But you can't have it yet. And I'm gonna hide it in such a good spot you'll never find it."

"C'mon Lola, there aren't that many hiding spots in our house."

"Pfft! Have you stheen your house?! There'sth over ten billion placesth to look and you'll _sthill_ never find it!" Daffy exclaimed.

"Fine. I'll be a good person and wait. Geez, I'm an adult. I don't care what my present is." He pretended to cry on Lola's shoulder. "What's my present?! I suddenly care!"

"I'm not telling you," Lola said.

"Please?"

"No!"

"Please?"

"No!"

To make a long story short this went on all the way back home.


	6. Last Day of School, Thank Goodness!

Chapter 6:

Last Day Of School--Thank Goodness!

Bugs and Lola walked sleepily up the steps of Acme Looniversity.

"Can I have my break early and just go home while I still can?" Bugs said as he opened one of the glass doors.

"C'mon Bugsy, last day before the holidays. This is supposed to be fun!" Lola said. The enthusiasm was fake for his sake.

"For you! I'm gonna be spending my day putting in grades for these dang progress reports," Bugs complained. "How about you be the principal today and I can be the P.E. teacher?"

"Not a chance. I like my job."

They walked into the teacher's lounge where Sylvester and Sam were playing a quick game of monopoly.

"Sam I sthwear you cheated! You didn't pay the income tax and you got 10 million bucksth when you passthed go! You're only sthupposed to get 200!" Sylvester exclaimed.

"I ain't cheating! You cheated! You didn't pay for Boardwalk or Park Place! You accuse me of cheating and _you're_ the one cheating!" Sam exclaimed.

"Why would you accusthe me of cheating Sam?! You cheat on everything!"

"What have I cheated on dare I ask?!"

"The other day you cheated on STHORRY. You cheated on dartsth! Man, you even cheated on a three legged racthe! How the heck do you cheat on a three legged racthe?!"

"It's very easy actually."

"Stho you admit you cheated!"

"No! I never said that!"

"SHUT UP!!!!!" Bugs yelled. He was tired, he had a headache, and quite frankly it was too early to listen to them scream at each other.

Lola handed Bugs a cup of coffee. "Drink up. You're gonna need it."

Bugs took a long gulp of coffee despite how hot it was trying to ignore the throbbing in his head.

"What's your problem?" Sam asked.

Lola took a sip of coffee herself then narrowed her eyes at him. "Didn't he just say _shut up_?!"

"Ooh, the rabbitsth are grumpy thisth morning. Late night?" Sylvester asked.

Bugs and Lola gave him an expression mixed with sleepiness and aggravation that clearly said DUH!

Porky, Wile E, and Pepe Le Pew came in. "Hey guys." Porky saw the tired look on their faces. "L-l-late night?" he guessed. Lola nodded.

Suddenly Daffy ran through the door jumping around as cheerful as ever. "Woo hoo! I feel like sthalami on rye on the fly like bisthcotti in the sky!"

"Did he just call himself meat?" Sam whispered to Sylvester.

"I believe he sthaid sthalami and bisthcotti," Sylvester replied.

Daffy saw the tired expressions on Bugs and Lola's faces. "What'sth wrong with you two. Late night?"

Bugs finished off his coffee and dropped his head onto the table. "Yes."

"Well wake up rabbit. Don't forget, you've got an assthembly at 9:30. Ha, I am stho glad I'm not the principal," Daffy said with a laugh.

Bugs held out his empty coffee cup to Lola. "More please." At the rate he was going he was gonna need all the coffee and sugar he could get.

"You know, while we sit in our classthrooms and text all day you sthit in your office, alone, with gradesth, and the consthant ringing of the phone…" Daffy teased. The others laughed.

Bugs slammed his fist on the table. "Shut up will ya?! All of you get to your classes now or you're fired! And that's an order!"

Daffy snorted. "You can't fire usth Bugsth. I mean really…"

Bugs looked up and gave him an evil look. That look clearly stated something along the lines of "I dare you to say another word."

"Right, classesth, fired, you're seriousth," Daffy said. Everyone knew that when Bugs was serious (and that was very rare) then he meant business and if you didn't listen to him, bad things would happen.

**

Later that day Sam came into Bugs office with Buster and Plucky who were in trouble for the fifth time that week. Lola stood against the wall with her arms crossed and Bugs was at his desk pretending to be interested in a blank sheet of paper. Both looked guilty of something.

"Nice weather we're having huh Bugs?" Lola said.

"Indeed it is Lola," Bugs said.

"What did you two do?" Sam asked suspiciously.

Bugs looked up from his obviously blank sheet of paper. "Us? Do something? Sam why would you say something like that. Why I…I am shocked."

Sam rolled his eyes. "Whatever it is I don't think I want to know. Look who I found roaming the halls, _again_."

"Buster, Plucky…" Bugs began.

"Make them eat fried worms with sour milk!" Lola exclaimed.

"Who's the principal Lola?"

Lola saluted him. "You sir Mr. Bunny sir."

"And who makes the rules?"

"You do sir."

"Good, now, don't you have a class sweet heart?"

"Are you kicking me out?"

"That's a pretty harsh way to put it. How about protecting the gym so the kids don't tear it apart?"

Lola walked past him. "I'll accept that."

"Good. Now get outta here."

Lola winked at him then left.

Bugs turned back to the kids. "Buster, Plucky…"

Suddenly Penelope came in. "Bugs! The guys from Chick Fil A cancelled."

"We're having Chick Fil A for lunch?!" Buster and Plucky said excitedly.

"Quiet children!" Sam exclaimed. "This is an adult conversation." He turned to Penelope. "We're having Chick Fil A for lunch?!"

"Not anymore. They cancelled on me. What are we gonna have for lunch now?" Penelope said.

Bugs ran his hand through his ears and sighed. This just wasn't his day. He tried to think of what to do. "Where's Road Runner?"

"He's teaching physics but…"

"Tell him to come down here now. Sam, go cover his class."

"But…"

"GO!"

The two of them left. Bugs turned to Buster and Plucky. "Sit down, this might be a minute."

Penelope came back with Road Runner. "Yeah Bugs?" Road Runner said.

"Go to Chick Fil A and pick up um, I don't know, fifty orders of waffle fries, chicken strips, salads and burgers. Our caterers cancelled."

Road Runner stared at him for a second. "Okaaay. Why…?"

"Because you're the fastest. Thanks Doc."

"Ok. Be back in a few." Road Runner zoomed out the door.

"See problem solved." Bugs said. He turned to Buster and Plucky. "Buster, Plucky…" In all the excitement Bugs had forgotten what his punishment was so he said the first thing that popped into his head. "Wash all the tables after lunch."

"What?!"

"Yes. Now get outta here."

**

Daffy stood at the head of the classroom for his last class of the day discussing their last test.

"I know you're all wondering how you did on your testh lasth week and I'm just gonna come right out and sthay…all of you failed." He started to pass them back. "It'sth like you guysth don't pay attention in my classth let alone even care about history. George Washington wasth the _firsth_ president," he paused at Max's desk and slammed his test onto it, "Mr. Montana Max! Not Thomasth Jeffersthon!" He turned to Buster. "Busther Bunny how in the world do you get a -.5% on a testh?!"

"Well sir, the test was really hard and…"

"That wasth a rhetorical question. That -.5% is going in the record book. The highesth grade in the classth was Missth Babs' 55%. Honesthly if you any of you want to passth eighth grade, you might wanna actually _pay attention_! Trust me, it worksth."

"You never paid attention in school Daffy," Dolores said.

Daffy turned around and there was his sister by the door in all her blonde glory. "Gee Dolores, I hate to make you leave but as you can sthee, I'm in the middle of a lecture right now," he said with fake sympathy.

"Don't worry about me," Dolores said sitting down in a chair. "You won't even know I'm here."

"Who's that Mr. Duck?" Buster asked.

"My sthister…"

"Can we have free time since it's the last day of school and all?" Dillon asked. The whole class started begging right then.

"Why should I give you free time? You failed the testh after all, I should give you another one," Daffy said.

"Daffy, don't be mean. Give the kid's free time," Dolores said.

Daffy leaned against the chalkboard with his arms crossed. "I know you're here Doloresth."

"Listen to your sister Mr. Duck. She speaks the truth," Dillon said. The class started chattering again.

"Fine! You can have your 'free time'. But firsth you have to ansthwer a very hard question. Let me sthee, um…what are the three sthates that make up the Washington Metropolitan area?"

Everyone's hand went up immediately.

"You call that a hard question Daffy?" Dolores asked.

"Babsth?" Daffy said.

"D.C, Maryland, and Virginia," Babs said.

"That was easy," Plucky Duck said.

"No! You're wrong. D.C isthn't a sthate isth it? No free time and that'sth final," Daffy said.

"If D.C isn't a state Mr. Duck you should've said what two states make up the Washington Metropolitan area," Babs pointed out. Everyone else agreed.

"She's right Daffy. You're students are apparently smarter than you. Why did you fail them all?" Dolores said.

Daffy glared at Dolores then stomped over to his desk. "Have free time, I don't care."

The class jumped out of their seats and pulled out the games.

Dolores went over to Daffy's desk and examined the stuff on it. A picture of himself, a picture of Melissa, his phone, papers, fancy pens from Vegas, a pen with his face on it. "You're really high on yourself you know that?"

Daffy picked up his phone and started texting.

"Who you texting?" Dolores asked.

Daffy sighed as he pressed send. "Doloresth, get out of here. Nobody wantsth you here," he said through his teeth.

"Gee, that's kind of a sucker punch for someone who bought you a Christmas present," Dolores said.

Daffy slammed his phone onto the table. "I don't give a flying fadoodle about your Christhmas presthent Doloresth. For all I know, you bought me fried wormsth! Now get out!"

Dolores glared at him then walked to the head of the class. "Do you guys want to hear a story?"

"About what?"

"We're too old for stories about the Three Little Pigs and Cinderella you know!" Max said.

"Just listen. When I was seven I a had a doll. She was really pretty, I took her everywhere."

In the back Daffy rolled his eyes. "Wow a doll," he said under his breath.

"My brother disliked this doll; he called it ugly, stupid, annoying, etcetera. Then one day while I was at school, I left the doll at home by accident. Daffy Duck cut off all it's hair, ripped it's arms off, and shredded all it's clothes. I was devastated. I cried for days. Daffy is just so cruel…"

The class glared at Daffy. "That's mean Mr. Duck," Shirley said.

"I hate my sister as much as the next guy but dang, that's just cruel," said Buster.

Daffy ran to the front of the class. "You think I'm cruel?! Well one day I was in the tree housthe with Bugsth and Sylvester. Well while we were playing Mancala, Doloresth actually removed the ladder stho we couldn't get down! We were up there literally for eight hoursth with no food and no air conditioning! Then when my parentsth came home she told them we went to the park stho they didn't know we were up there. We ended up sthaying there for another three hoursth!"

The class looked from Dolores to Daffy getting really interested now.

"Five bucks they'll start fist fighting," Plucky said to Buster.

"Done."

"You think that's bad? Well one night while I was asleep Daffy tied my hair to the headboard of my bed! I woke up screaming and he claimed that a ghost came in and did it!"

"What kind of lame excuse is that?" someone asked.

"Well get thisth! I wasth going out with thisth really hot chick Sthamantha. Doloresth poured a bucket of clamsth and sthlime on her head and claimed I did it! Then Sthamantha broke up with me!"

Dolores rolled her eyes. "Samantha wasn't that pretty anyway."

"She wasth the firsth girl I've ever loved and you made her break up with me! You ruined my love life!"

"You're going out with Melissa now right? So technically I didn't really ruin it."

"Why you little…!"

Bugs came on over the intercom. "Hey, Daff, you have Buster right now?"

Daffy lowered his fist. "Yeah, he'sth here."

"Send him to the office, he's about to leave."

"Alright." Daffy turned to Buster. "Get out of here misther -.5%"

"Hi Bugs!" Dolores said.

"Hello Dolores. Hey, if Daffy is torturing the students, send him to me."

"We're being tortured!" the class exclaimed.

"You guys are sthupposed to be on _my_ sthide!" Daffy exclaimed.

Bugs chuckled. "Bye you guys."

"You know what, it's not so bad that you failed. Daffy had to take summer school in sixth grade because he failed science," Dolores said.

Daffy pushed her towards the door. "No one caresth whether the teacher failed or not, you need to get out! No one wantsth you here!"

"But your class likes me!" Daffy slammed the door behind her. "OUT!"

**

Daffy went into Bugs' office after class mumbling profanities about Dolores. Bugs was at his desk in a big spinning chair and Lola was at her usual spot on the edge of Bugs' desk chatting away about things Daffy really didn't care about.

Bugs looked up form his computer. "What's your problem now?"

"You sthay that like I always have a problem," Daffy said.

"You do. Every time I see you you're either cursing someone out or you have that look on your face like you just wanna punch someone's lights out. Who did it this time?" Bugs said.

"It's that idiot sister of mine. I swear it took everything I had not to just beat her up in front of my class. I wish she'd just…"

"You wish she'd just what Daffy?" Dolores asked. Daffy hadn't noticed but Dolores was sitting in a chair by the window.

Bugs slammed his fist on the table making them all jump.

"What's wrong?" Lola asked.

Bugs was saying a lot of profanities about his dysfunctional computer. Then he just turned it off. "This computer is dumb! Remind me to buy a new computer next this weekend," he grumbled.

"I don't sthee why you didn't just buy one yestherday. How long hasth that thing been giving you problemsth?" Daffy said.

Bugs ignored his comment.

"Did I tell you Daffy failed his class?" Dolores said.

"Harsh," Lola said.

"It isn't my fault they all failed the test! Max needsth to get it in histh head that _George_ _Washington_ was the firsth president!" Daffy exclaimed.

"That's going on their progress report," Bugs said writing some things in his planner. "Dang. I'm gonna be spending my whole night putting in grades."

"You are too organized," Lola said.

"Never too organized Lo."

"Uh huh. You're a neat freaky, super organized, dork," Lola teased.

"You trying to start something?" Bugs asked raising an eyebrow.

Lola looked away innocently. "Maaaaybe." She laughed. "But seeing as how you always start something, it doesn't matter that much."

"Doesn't matter eh?"

"Although if you wanted to start something I'll play you for it at basketball."

"Alright then. I'll win though. I'm superior to you after all," Bugs said getting up. Him and Lola started to leave. "Eh Ducks."

Daffy and Dolores had been giving each other the evil eye. "What?" they said simultaneously.

"Get out my office," Bugs said.

"You don't trust us in here?" Dolores asked.

"Well seeing as how it's you two and you both look like cannibals right now…no. I don't want anything broken," Bugs said.

Daffy and Dolores stood up. "Fine," they said once again simultaneously.

Bugs and Lola headed to the gym to prove to each other that they were more superior to the other in terms of basketball war (although we all know Lola is superior when it comes to things like that).

"Where are they going?" Dolores asked.

"To kick each other's buttsth in the gym," Daffy said through his teeth. He started to head towards the glass front door. He didn't know where he was about to go after he left, maybe to laugh at Wile E getting his butt kicked by Road Runner.

"Hey Daffy," Dolores said.

"What?"

"I'm sorry I disturbed your class."

Daffy didn't turn around but flipped her off over his shoulder.


	7. Carol of the Bells

Don't trust Carolers...they're demons!

Chapter 7:

Carol of the Bells

Lola ran down to the basement with joy and adrenaline running through her. "BugsBugsBugsBugsBugsBugs!"

Bugs put down the Play Station controller. "Did I miss something?"

Lola was smiling from ear to ear. "You're not gonna believe this."

"Just tell me Lola, I'm sure it's not that unbelievable."

At this point Lola was trying not to explode. "I'm pregnant."

He stared in disbelief for a moment then a huge smile crept onto Bugs' face. "You serious?"

"Would I lie about that?"

**

Sylvester and Sylvia were backing out of their driveway in Sylvester's white Cadillac to pick Jr up from his friend's house. Suddenly they heard someone scream.

"AAAAAAHHHHH! YEESSS! YYYEEESSS! OH YEAH! HALLELUJAH BABY! YEAH!!!!!!"

"What the heck?" Sylvester said.

"Is that Bugs and Lola?" Sylvia said.

"I think stho. Should we go check on them?"

"Might as well."

They drove through Bugs and Lola's open gate and up their long drive-way and went up to their extremely huge front door. The doorbell rang out a loud chime that seemed like it could be heard a million miles away.

Bugs and Lola opened the door looking like they'd explode. The grins on their faces were so wide their faces had to hurt.

"What isth wrong with you two? You made usth think sthomeone finally murdered Stham," Sylvester said.

Lola was about to tell them but she was so excited she could hardly form the words. "You tell them Bugs. You tell them."

It took Bugs a second to find his voice. "Lola's pregnant."

Sylvester and Sylvia's mouths dropped at the exact same time. "Oh. My. God. Are. You. Serious?!"

Lola nodded. "Uh huh. 100% serious."

Sylvia threw her arms around her. "Oh Lola I'm so proud of you! What are you gonna name it?"

"Sylvia I've only known for five minutes. We didn't get to names yet."

"Well so? What are you gonna name it? You've officially known for five minutes and thirty seconds now. Now you can talk names!"

"Bugs Jr," Bugs joked.

"C'mon now, let's get a little more creative than these two," Lola said gesturing to Sly and Sylvia.

"We are creative!" Sylvester exclaimed.

"Oh yeah putting a Jr in front of your name is really creative," Lola said.

"How about if it's a girl we name it Lola Jr and if it's a boy we name it Bugs Jr? Case closed," Bugs said.

"Ugh, men are so uncreative," Sylvia said.

"I don't know what you're talking about Sthylvia, you named Jr," Sylvester pointed out.

"He fried you Sylvia," Bugs said. "But honestly you can't go wrong with Bugs Jr and Lola Jr!"

Lola held up her hands to stop them. "I don't wanna talk names right now. I'm still stuck in the moment." She threw her arms around Bugs. "Now we're finally gonna have a baby of our own like we always wanted."

Sylvester snorted. "Nah, you don't want kidsth. Keep you up at night, make you drive them everywhere, listhen to them beg for a puppy until you get them one, oh yeah and they cry all the time, the best part isth when they grow up and move out, I remember when my life wasth easthy…"

Sylvia slapped him in the arm. "Don't scare them. Let them figure it out on their own."

**

At Wile E's house, he was sitting on the couch with a bowl of popcorn and a soda and wearing fuzzy pink slippers watching the Titanic. It was at the part when the ship was sinking and he had tears in his eyes.

Ding Dong!

Wile E wiped his eyes and paused the movie then went to the door. "Yeah?"

At the door was a bunch of old people in Santa hats and winter clothes even though it was at least seventy degrees outside.

"Hark! How the bells, sweet silver bells

All seem to say

Throw cares away

Christmas is here

Bringing good cheer…!"

Wile E slammed the door. "Stay away you demons!" Wile E had a strong dislike of carolers.

The doorbell rang before he could get halfway down the driveway. He opened it again and there were the same people.

"God rest ye merry gentlemen

Let nothing you dismay

And when lord Christ our savior

Was born on Christmas Day…!"

"GET OUTTA HERE!"

"We work for salted nuts," a man in his eighties said.

"You can't chew salted nuts you old geezer!" Wile E slammed the door.

Ten minutes later the Titanic was getting to the best part.

Ding Dong!

Wile E paused the movie and went to the door. This time it was a bunch of teenagers with songbooks.

"Come they told me, pa rum pum pum pum  
A new born King to see, pa rum pum pum pum …"

"When have you ever heard a drum beat that goes 'pa'?!" Wile E exclaimed.

"It's a song sir."

"Drums don't go _'pa'_!" Wile E slammed the door.

A little later, the doorbell rang yet again. This time it was people with a basket collecting donations.

"Rudolph the red nosed reign deer

Had a very shiny nose

And if you ever saw it

You would even say it glows…!"

Wile E slammed the door without a comment. Exactly two minutes later the door bell rang again. This time it was two Asian girls in tight clothes.

"Last Christmas

I gave you my heart

And the very next day

You gave it away

This year, to save me some tears…!"

"Listen ladies, I don't pay prostitutes not matter how hot they are!" Wile E slammed the door. As soon as he slammed it, it ran again. This time it was a guy in a purple suit and high heels with an electric guitar.

"Only want to see you laughing in the purple rain

Purple Rain

Purple RAAAAAIN…!"

"What does that have to do with Christmas?!" Wile E exclaimed. When the door rang a few minutes later it was an entire band.

"Jingle Bells

Jingle Bells

Jingle all the way!

Oh what fun it is to ride

In a one horse open sleigh

Sing it again!"

Wile slammed the door completely fed up. "That does it!" He went down to the basement and spent an hour making this huge laser that would pop out of the door if any carolers came. While he did that there were seven more people at the door (which he ignored). After he installed the laser, he finished the Titanic peacefully eating cold popcorn.

The door bell rang and Wile E smiled at the thought of the carolers getting blasted to bits. "WILE E! WILE E! OPEN THE DOOR! IT'S US! TURN OFF THE LASER!" Wile E ran to the door and turned off the laser before his friends got blasted.

He opened the door and Melissa, Daffy, Penelope, Porky, and Tweety started singing.

"Hark! How the bells, sweet silver bells

All seem to say…!"

"STOP! STOP! NO MORE SINGING! IF I HEAR ONE MORE CHRISTMAS CAROL, PARTICULARLY THAT ONE, I'M GOING TO EXPLODE!"

"What's wrong with you?" Melissa asked.

"These dang carolers have been coming to my house for the past hour and I'm tired of it! I never want to hear a Christmas song again!"

"I hear you Wile E, I was forced," Daffy said glaring at Melissa.

"Then I guess you two wouldn't be interested in annoying Mr. and Mrs. Bunny, would you?" Melissa said.

"Is that a bribe?" Wile E asked.

"Th-th-that ain't a bribe Melissa," Porky said. "This is." He took ten bucks out his pocket.

Daffy pushed Wile E out the way and reached for the money. "IT'S MINE! YOU UNDERSTAND?! MINE! MINE! MINE! YOU CAN'T HAVE IT, IT'S MINE!"

"Y-y-you get it after," Porky said. And with that Wile E and Daffy followed them with drool coming out of their mouths. It's only ten bucks, why anyone as rich as them would be so obsessed over ten bucks is a mystery.

Melissa held out her fist that didn't have the enormous ring on it to Porky. "Genius."

Porky punched her fist with his. "You owe me."

"You're not really gonna give them that are you?" Tweety whispered.

"N-n-not a chance," Porky said.

**

The doorbell rang. Bugs went to open it while Sly, Sylvia, and Lola sat in the kitchen over hot chocolate. When he opened the door, he found Melissa, Daffy, Porky, Wile E, and Tweety wearing Santa hats and singing Carol of the Bells.

"Okaaay, you guys have officially gone insane," Bugs said.

"Don't look at me, I was forced," Daffy said throwing a glare at Melissa.

"I getting you into the spirit though," Melissa said.

Lola ran to the door. "Hey you guys guess what…what in gods name are you doing?"

"It's called caroling," Melissa said.

Sylvester and Sylvia came in after hearing the conversation. "Who goes caroling these days? That is so eighteenth century," Sylvia said.

"None of us want to be here except Melisstha, okay?" Daffy said.

"Did you tell them Lola?" Sylvester asked.

"Tell us what?" Penelope asked.

"I'm pregnant," Lola said.

Daffy laughed. "Ha, ha. Oh yeah, that'sth funny, ha," he saw the look on her face. "Oh you were seriousth."

Penelope gave Lola and Bugs a hug. "I'm so happy for you guys!"

"What are you gonna name them? Bugs Jr and Lola Jr?" Wile E guessed.

"Why does everyone love Bugs Jr and Lola Jr so much? I am not naming my kids Bugs Jr and Lola Jr!" Lola exclaimed.

"Fine, we don't have to name them that. But it'll be so simple. If we forget their names we'll just think of our names with Jr in front of them," Bugs said. Lola glared at him. "Or whatever names you want is fine."

"Good, we already have one Jr, we don't need anymore," Lola said.

"C'mon you guys, we still have many more houses to go to," Melissa said.

"Say your prayers you guys," Tweety said.

"Here's my prayer," Bugs cleared his throat.

"Why does he love preaching so much?" Daffy whispered to Sly.

"The deviiiiiiillll will not possess me toniiiiight! Because I is saaaaaaaaved!"

"Bugs you're not s-s-saved," Porky said.

"Shut up Porkster! IIIII-eeeee iz ble-eeesed. Because I have a hot wi-ife! And I is a fathaaaaa!"

"You ain't a father yet!" Wile E said.

"SHUT UP!" He said a line of profanities under his breath.

"Since when do you curse in the church?" Sylvia asked.

"We ain't in the church!" Bugs exclaimed. He continued preaching.

Melissa mouthed to Lola, "We're gonna go now."

Lola waved. Sylvester gave her a pat on the back before he left and Sylvia whispered into her ear, "Please help him."

"I'll do my best," Lola said. Sylvia left.

A few minutes later Bugs realized everyone left and stopped preaching. "Where'd everyone go?"

"Bugs, I say this because I care about you, get some help!"

**

Bugs and Lola lay on their back porch swing enjoying the peaceful Christmas Eve evening/sunset and the view of their large estate.

"You think if we sit here long enough we'll see Santa Claus?" Lola asked as she gazed up at the stars.

"Since when do you believe in Santa Claus?" Bugs asked. Lola's never believed in Santa Claus a day in her life.

"Just a thought. So." She sat up and looked him in the eyes. He sat up also and put his arms around her. "Yes?"

"While we're alone, and in the dark, on a peaceful evening," she moved closer to him and brushed her hand across his cheek. "…what did you get me?"

"Girl, I thought you were talking about something else! Don't do that, it's misleading!"

"Well what did you get me?!"

"I asked you that same question and what did you say to me? 'You can't have it yet. And I'm gonna hide it in such a good spot you'll never find it'. You can't wait ten hours like every other person in the world?"

Lola shook her head. "Sure can't. Tell me."

"No."

"Please?"

"No."

"Please?"

"I bought you maternity clothes and baby bottles," Bugs said.

Lola punched him in the mouth with a little less force than she should have.

"Is that any way to treat your husband who gave you this baby in the first place?" Bugs asked poking her stomach.

"Is that any way to treat your wife who will go through so much more than you?"

**BOOM!**

They turned around and saw this big explosion in the distance. "AAAAAHHHHH!!!" Sam came flying through the air then landed in front of them literally on fire. He jumped around trying to put out the fire on his mustache. "Ah! Ooh! Ow! Ouch! Don't just sit there! help me!"

Bugs walked over, picked Sam up, and tossed him over the balcony into the pool below them then sat back down next to Lola.

Sam came up the steps dripping wet with an angry expression on his face (not that the angry expression was anything new).

"What happened?" Lola asked.

"My Christmas tree blew up!" Sam pouted.

"What did you put on your Christmas tree Sam," Bugs asked. Knowing Sam it was something explosive.

"Just a few bombs, a couple sticks of dynamite, some gun powder, TNT, and a bit of fire," Sam said like that was normal.

"Gee, why did your tree blow up?" Lola said sarcastically rolling her eyes.

"Sam, go home, get another tree, and don't put bombs on it," Bugs said.

"Why does everyone else's tree not blow up but mines does?!"

"Sam, get real! You put explosives on your tree! People's trees haven't blown up in the past ten million years because the thousands of generations before us learned that fire and dynamite is dangerous! Learn from ancient history."

"I could care less about ancient history," Sam said.

"No wonder your tree blew up then," Lola said.

Sam was about to protest then stopped realizing they were right. He stomped down the stairs mumbling things like, "I hate rabbits." "They think they're so smart just because they have long ears."

**

Daffy sat in his family room in his Batman pajamas wrapping presents and listening to rap music. Right then he was wrapping Taz's present, a Crazy Taxi video game for his Wii.

Ding Dong!

Daffy went to go get the door and it was Dolores, who else?

"Hi loving brother whom I love so much!"

"Hi loving sthister who never seems to talk to anyone but me thesthe daysth!" Daffy said with fake enthusiasm.

Dolores looked at Daffy's pajamas. "Honestly Daffy, why?"

"Batman is cool okay?!"

Dolores walked past him to the source of the music. "You should be listening to something more constructive than rap. How about Jazz or R&B?" She started to change the track.

"No!" Too late, she changed it to Carol of the Bells. He pushed her out the way and switched it back. Then, after glaring at her for a few minutes, he sat back down and continued to wrap Taz's present.

"Which one is mine?" Dolores asked.

"None of them," Daffy mumbled.

"Well I bought you something," Dolores said.

"You told me, not that I really care." He put down the tape and wrapping paper and looked at Dolores. "You know what I'd really like?"

"What?"

"For you to get out of here, go back to New York, and never sthpeak to me again stho I can return to my happy life!"

Dolores flipped through all the DVD's on the shelf. "You're not happy Daffy."

"What makes you sthay that? I'm very happy!" Daffy exclaimed.

"Then why are you so mean? See you aren't happy."

"I'm not happy because you're in my housthe. Maybe if you'd leave I'd be happy again!"

Dolores looked on Daffy's laptop but he didn't notice at first. Dolores giggled. Then that giggling turned into hysterical laughter.

Daffy slammed the tape onto the floor. "What isth wrong with you Doloresth?! Are you crazy? Should I put you in sthome mental insthitution?!"

"I'm talking to Melissa on your Face Book. She said you're not happy because fame is depressing for you and maybe if you'd stop being a jerk you'd be more famous and have better relationships with people, mainly us. I have to agree with that!" Dolores continued laughing.

Daffy's face was turning purple with anger.

"Hey Melissa, does Daffy treat you like dirt like he does everyone else?" Dolores read as she typed. She giggled again at Melissa's response. "How can you not see him as a cold and heartless jerk?" She laughed yet again.

Daffy squeezed his eyes shut and counted to ten in his head. "Doloresth?"

"Hey Daffy, why do you have other girls as your friends? Hey I'll ask Melissa if she's aware of that…"

Daffy ran over and snatched his laptop out of his sister's hands then typed a good bye to Melissa and turned the computer off. Daffy shouted a string of curse words at Dolores and went on like that for at least five minutes.

When he finished Dolores just stared. "Wow. I can't believe you've kissed mother with that mouth."

"I've never kissthed my mother!"

"Which worries me deeply," Dolores said.

"Doloresth, I'm only going to sthay this oncthe…GET OUT OF HERE!!!!"

"Must you shout?" Dolores asked. Daffy started to chase her towards the door unfortunately Dolores was much slower than Daffy and he grabbed her, opened the door and pushed her out. "AND STHAY OUT!" He slammed the door and went back to his gift wrapping.

* * *

Don't ask why i like making Lola pregnant so much (i did it in my last story Love Story) but it just fell into place so nicely


	8. The Best Christmas Present Ever

I love the holidays...

* * *

Chapter 8:

The Best Christmas Present Ever

Ding Dong!

Lola put the pillow over her head and looked at the digital clock on the night table. It was 7:15 in the morning. "They had to come this early?" she said sleepily.

"Do you think if we ignored them they'd leave?" Bugs asked.

Lola snorted. "No. By the way, it's your job to get the door before nine o clock."

"Aw Lola, where's your Christmas spirit? Why don't _you_ get the door?"

"Nice try."

Bugs got out the bed and put on his blue sweat pants. "Fine." The doorbell rang again.

Lola turned around to look at him. "I bet you five bucks it's Daffy."

"Make it ten and it's a deal," Bugs said.

Lola nodded. "Ten bucks its Daffy." The doorbell rang yet again. "Go get the door so they'll stop!" she exclaimed.

"I'm going, no need to get snippy." Bugs slid down the banister and jumped to the front door. He opened it and instead of Daffy it was Wile E.

"Merry Christmas!" Wile E exclaimed holding up a bag of presents.

"You couldn't have waited until twelve o clock like every other normal person in the world?" Bugs asked.

"Have a heart Bugs and the normal people are awake by now opening their presents." Wile E into the living room and dumped the presents under the tree. "Where's your wife, or am I interrupting something?" Wile E said laughing on that last part.

Bugs rolled his eyes and sat on the couch. "I'm gonna pretend I didn't hear that comment. You wanna light my fireplace for me?"

"Oh yeah, I've got this new invention of mine in the car that lights fire's instantly…"

Bugs held up his hand to stop him. "Never mind, I'll do it myself." Wile E's invention's weren't always the greatest and they rarely did something useful. Normally they just ended up severing someone's head or causing a nuclear explosion. Bugs went over to the fire to light it and the room immediately became warm and toasty.

Lola came downstairs in Bugs' bunny slippers and his boxers with candy canes all over them. "Hi Wile E, Merry Christmas!" She went over to him and gave him a quick hug.

"Why are you so obsessed with my boxers?" Bugs asked.

Lola plucked a candy cane off the tree. "Because you have the most designer boxers I've ever seen in my life. I mean really," she gestured to the ones she was wearing. "Candy canes and mistletoes with faces on them? Cool!"

Wile E and Bugs gave her a strange look. "Why did you marry her?" Wile E asked.

Bugs shrugged and shook his head. "I really don't know. By the way Lola, you owe me ten bucks."

Lola looked at him confused. "What?"

"You said Daffy would be at the door but it was Wile E. Pay up," Bugs said holding out his hand.

Lola opened her mouth to protest but then she remembered. "C'mon Bugs, you're not gonna take a bet seriously are you? I was half-asleep when I said that, I was delusional. It shouldn't count."

"Nice try Lola. I don't accept checks so I'll take it in cash up front."

"Do you accept credit?" Lola said sarcastically.

"_Cash_, up front."

Lola glared at him. "Why did I marry you?"

Bugs gave her smug grin. "Because you love me. As I was saying, cash, up front."

Lola stomped upstairs. "I'm taking back your present!" she called.

"And I'm taking back your present, you're on my naughty list this year!" Bugs called after her. Wile E laughed. "What?"

"You two are nuts."

"Actually the correct word is _rabbits_," Bugs pointed out.

"You would be the one to say something like that." The doorbell rang and Wile E went to get it. It was Penelope, Pepe le Pew, Porky, Daffy, and Melissa. "Hey you guys did you hear, Bugs and Lola sold me their house. I don't know why they'd give up such a place, my god this is nice…"

"Shut up Wile E!" Lola said as she ran downstairs. She reached out and gave everyone a hug. "Merry Christmas you guys!"

"You too girl!" Melissa said.

"W-w-w-why'd you give up y-y-your house?" Porky asked.

Wile E raised his eyebrows at him. "It was a joke Porky. I like my house anyway; it's been passed on for generations."

"Isth that why it looksth stho ancient?" Daffy asked.

"You know what, my house may be a senior citizen but that's okay, it has personality," Wile E said.

"A senior citizen made out of wood with personality, okay," Penelope said. They all went into the living room with Bugs leaving Wile E by the enormous front door.

"You know what? Y'all don't know a good quality house when you see one! Mine's may be from the eighteenth century but it is state of the art!" He realized no one was listening to his speech so he went back into the living room.

Lola went over to Bugs who was sitting on the couch watching the scene at the door. "Here's your freakin ten bucks, _in cash,_ _up front_."

Bugs put the ten buck into his pocket then pulled Lola onto his lap. "You see how easy that was." He kissed her on the lips.

Lola pushed him away. "Don't kiss me, I'm mad at you."

Bugs leaned back on the couch and looked away from her. "Fine, be mad at me. No kisses then."

Lola looked at him longingly. "Okay fine, you can kiss me!" Bugs smirked at her but kissed her anyway. "I'm still mad at you."

Bugs broke their kiss for a moment. "Okay Lola, sure you are." He could tell she wasn't really mad and that she was just being stubborn. He kissed her again.

Penelope snapped her fingers in their faces. They looked at her with a slightly annoyed look. "Let me get this straight," Penelope said like she was interviewing them. "You're pregnant Mrs. Bunny?"

Lola nodded with a grin from ear to ear. "Sure am."

Penelope turned to Bugs. "How do you feel about this Mr. Bunny?"

Bug chuckled. "Like I'm the richest man in the world."

"You are the richest man in the world Mr. Bunny," Penelope pointed out.

"Well, I'm a billion bucks richer as of yesterday."

**

A little later everyone had come over and they were sitting around the living room about to open presents.

Daffy tossed Melissa and present in red wrapping paper. "From yoursth truly."

Melissa opened it and inside were blue and purple butterfly earrings. Melissa gave Daffy a hug and kiss. "Oh Daffy, I love them!"

"I knew you would." Daffy said hugging her back.

Bugs passed Lola a present in purple wrapping paper with Frosty the Snowman all over it. "You're gonna love this Lola."

"I'm sure." Lola opened it and inside was a gold bracelet with Steelers charms and one that said Steelers Rule! She put it on then examined the beauty of it. Then she threw he arms around him. "Bugs it's beautiful, thanks!"

"Anything for you Lola. And I put a new radio in your Farrari."

Lola gave him another hug. "You're awesome!"

"Why'd you give her another radio, the car isn't even a year old yet," Daffy asked.

"$600,000 dollar cars need state of the art radios. The old one was getting bad reception anyway," Bugs replied.

Elmer Fudd tossed Bugs a present.

"Thanks Fudd." Bugs opened it and a gun popped out and blasted him in the face. Everyone laughed as he shook off the gunpowder. "Real funny Fudd, honestly my sides hurt laughing t this."

Sam held up his hand and gave Elmer Fudd a high five still laughing. "Yes Elmer Fudd, I like that one!"

"Finally, after a miwion years of twying I got him! In your face Bugs, witewally!"

"Just so I'll know ahead of time, do any more of you guys' presents involve trying to kill me?" Bugs asked.

Everyone shook their heads. "No." "Nothing." "No you're good."

Dolores handed a gift to Daffy. "Here Daffy."

"You really expect me to accept thisth Doloresth?" Daffy said.

"Um, yeah…"

"What, is sthomething gonna jump out and throw a pie at my face or sthomething elsthe to humiliate me? You can't fool me Doloresth! Don't you think I know you better than that?! I don't care what you sthay or do I will not accept your sthupid gift!"

Dolores glared at him angrily. "How could you think that Daffy?! All I've done since I've been here is tried to be nice to you! I've tried to make up with you! Now when I actually try to give you a Christmas present for the first time you tell me you don't want it?! It's not even anything bad! It's a new Xbox! Don't accept it then! Give it to one of your friends! You're such a stubborn jerk; I give up trying to be nice to you!" Dolores stomped out of the room leaving everyone else glaring at Daffy.

"What? You know she would've…"

"Save it Daffy!" Melissa exclaimed. She removed his arm from around her shoulders and left the room followed by Lola, Sylvia, and Penelope.

"You guysth know she would've…" They were all still glaring at him. He looked to Bugs and Sylvester. "You two believe me right? You know Doloresth!"

"Open the present Daffy," Sam said.

"Why should I…?"

"OPEN THE PRESENT YA VARMIT!"

Daffy sighed and started to unwrap the present. "Alright fine but I'm telling you there'sth no…" He removed the rest of the paper and his eyes got wide when he found that there was an actual Xbox in it. "Xbox 360 in here," he said slowly. On the side of it was written in permanent marker "Merry Christmas Daffy W/ Love, Your Sister Dolores." Daffy looked around at the guys who were all giving him disapproving looks. "You guysth know that…I just assthumed…she was alwaysth like that before…and I wasn't gonna put my dignity in jeopardy…c'mon you guysth…"

"Save it Daffy!" Tweety exclaimed.

"I bet you didn't even get her anything," Sylvester said.

"For shame Daffy!" Jr exclaimed.

"Fine you guysth want me to get her sthomething." He reached into a drawer and pulled out a loose sheet of paper, a marker, and an envelope. He folded the paper in half scribbled a Christmas tree on the front, and on the inside wrote Merry Chrizmas From Daffy in a messy script. Then he put it in the envelope, sealed it, and wrote to Dolores on the front. "There, I got her a sthupid Christmasth presthent, happy now?!"

"Now go in there, give it to her, and apologize," Bugs said.

Daffy hesitated. "Me? Go in there and apologize? But your wivesth are already in there cheering her up and Doloresth is just acting like a baby anyway…"

"DAFFY!" they all exclaimed.

"Okay, okay, I'm going." Daffy stood up and went into the kitchen.

In the kitchen the girls were comforting Dolores who was crushed.

"I can't believe he didn't want it. I spent money on that just for him and he didn't even accept it. Why does he hate me? I know I've been mean to him before but why can't he see I'm just trying to be nice to him now?!"

"Dolores, just forget about dumb old Daffy," Penelope said.

"Yeah, if he wants to be a jerk about it let him. There's no use getting yourself all mad about it," Lola said.

"But he's my brother, I just can't forget about him. I never have."

Daffy came into the kitchen. "Ladiesth."

Sylvia stood up and got in his face. "Did you just com in here to unleash more of your mass destruction on this poor innocent girl?! Can't you see she's trying to make up with you! She bought you a freakin Xbox for god's sakes! Are you that thick headed?!" she exclaimed.

"Get out my face Sylvia," Daffy said pushing her away. "Actually I just wanted to talk to her. Can you give me a minute?"

Lola, Melissa, and Penelope stood up and they left along with Sylvia tossing Daffy a glare on their way out.

Daffy sat down next to Dolores. He didn't exactly know how he'd go about this apology thing, he wasn't much of the apologetic type. "Hey." That seemed like a good way to start.

She looked away from him and crossed her arms. "Cool Xbox."

"You didn't really seem to care."

Daffy handed her the card. "I made thisth for you."

Dolores just tossed it across the table.

Daffy frowned. He was just trying to apologize, why'd she have to be so difficult?! Wait, is this how I was acting? Without even thinking he started letting his heart out. "Look Doloresth, I'm sthorry okay? I'm sthorry I yelled at you, and didn't believe you about the presthent. I'm sthorry I threw that knife at your head and slammed the door in your face all thosthe timesth. I'm sthorry for cutting the hair off your dollsth and pushing you off your bike. That Xbox is really cool and it's the best presthent I've ever gotten. And I just wanted to sthay I actually _like_ you Doloresth, okay? And I don't sthay thisth about many people! I've always _liked_ you but I was jealousth of you and if you'd just forgive me…you'd better forgive me Doloresth, it's not every day I apologize like this! And I'm not just doing thisth becausthe the guysth forced me okay? I really am truly and honestly from the bottom of my heart sthorry!" Daffy looked at her expectantly, that was the longest apology he'd ever made in his life she'd better accept it!

Dolores looked at him for the first time. "You really mean that Daffy?"

"Yesth I do Doloresth! And if you wanna sthop fighting fine, I don't give a crap!"

Dolores studied him trying to find any trace of sarcasm but there wasn't any. Daffy's face was more sincere than she'd ever seen it, even more sincere than when he had tried to convince their parents that she'd been lying on him.

She reached over and gave him a hug which startled him but he hugged her back. They sat there for who knows how long hugging for the first time feeling like brother and sister.

Dolores broke the hug. "So you really like the Xbox?"

"Like I sthaid, that'sth the best gift I've ever gotten," Daffy said.

Dolores reached over and opened the "card" Daffy made her. She looked at it for a long time without saying anything.

"Before you decide to sthay sthomething sthmart, I know this is nothing compared to what you got me but, I worked hard on that card okay…" He was cut off by Dolores laughing. "What are you laughing for?!"

"This is sweet Daffy. You spelled Christmas wrong!"

Daffy looked at it and realized he had spelled Christmas with a Z. He glared at Dolores for laughing but started laughing himself.

After a while they stopped laughing. "Can you believe we wasted our whole lives hating each other?" Dolores asked.

"Yeah, when you think about it, it soundsth kinda dumb," Daffy said.

Bugs came into the kitchen and saw the two ducks laughing it up like they've been best friends all their lives. "Well, well, well, look what we have here. No more ravenous hatred?"

Dolores shook her head. "Nope, Daffy came to his senses and apologized."

Daffy playfully smacked her in the arm. "Don't ruin it; I'm being very nicthe right now."

"Maybe I should call Carlton and my sisters over here for the holidays more often if this is what happens," Bugs said.

They went back into the living room and opened the rest of their presents then Bugs made them all waffles for breakfast. They spent the rest of the day goofing off, playing with their "toys", wishing their families a Merry Christmas, and doing other random things.

They were in the basement where all the games were. Bugs and Sam had just finished a game of pool and Sam wasn't very happy that Bugs won. He shot holes in the walls which Lola beat him up for. Right then Tweety was being the radio DJ and some of them doing some stupid dances the rest were laughing at how idiotic they looked.

Lola was playing Pepe le Pew in foosball.

"Hey Lola, your pants tight enough for you?" Penelope asked. Lola had changed into these really tight black skinny jeans. They looked like they took forever to get on.

"I like tight jeans," Lola said. She lost her concentration answering Penelope and Pepe won. "No!"

Pepe le Pew punched his fist into the air. "Yes!"

"Maybe you should take off those pants. They're cutting off your circulation," Penelope said laughing.

"Maybe you should wear _maternity_ clothes," Road Runner teased. That got a laugh from everyone.

"Aw shut it, I ain't that fat yet," Lola said. She sat next to Bugs who had just beat Sly on Daffy's new Xbox. "You like my pants don't you Bugsy?"

Bugs nodded. "Yeah, of course I do. You look hot." He gave her a quick kiss on the nose then continued gloating.

Lola turned to the rest of them. "At least _someone_ appreciates my sense of fashion."

"Lola the only sense of fashion you have is sweat pants and boxer shorts," Melissa said. Everyone laughed again.

"Ooh, burn," Daffy said.

Lola stood up and got a pool stick. "Okay you guys are gonna get it now!" She chased them all around hitting them on the head with the pool stick.

Bugs and Sylvester started their game over for a rematch. "Your wife sure knowsth how to beat em up," Sylvester commented.

"I think she's having mood swings right now," Bugs said. He pulled Lola into his lap when she ran past. "You shouldn't run around like that you're gonna hurt yourself."

"But Buuuugs…" Lola complained.

"Do you want me to get them?"

Lola nodded. "Yes." She handed him the pool stick.

Bugs stood up and gave them all a menacing look. They all scattered. It was one thing when Lola tried to beat you up but with Bugs you never knew if you'd come out alive. "RUN AWAY! RUN AWAY!" Sam shouted.

Later Daffy sat on the spinning chair being more quiet than usual but everyone was having so much fun they didn't notice. Honestly Daffy felt like something was missing from him. Maybe it was his…nah that's not it. Everyone had gotten calls from their families except him, when was the last time he talked to his parents anyway? Not that it had ever bothered him before. Maybe the fact that he'd just made up with his sister was triggering these feelings, he didn't know. It's just that he somehow felt left out of the circle.

"And now for Bugs and Lola's favorite song," Tweety announced changing the track to some romantic love song.

Lola jumped up. "This is my jam!" She pulled Bugs up. "C'mon Bugs!" Sylvia pulled Sylvester up to dance also.

Melissa pulled Daffy up. "C'mon Daffy!"

Daffy hadn't been paying attention. "What?"

"C'mon, dance now, let's move!"

"Melisstha I…" He saw the pleading look on her face. "Okay, okay, fine."

Everyone laughed hysterically purely out of habit as they had been doing all day at the three couples dancing. As much as Daffy enjoyed dancing with Melissa his heart just wasn't in it. It was stuck on his…nah that's still not it.

**

Daffy and Dolores spent a lot of their day catching up. At that moment they were sitting on the floor by the fire in the living room.

"What happened after…Hawaii?" Dolores asked.

Daffy leaned up against the fireplace recalling what happened after their argument in Hawaii. "I came back here, lived my life for a while, moved out of my sthecond place in Beverly Hillsth, got married and divorced twice. We helped Bugsth build the Looniversthity, Melisstha moved here we stharted dating, I was the best man at Bugsth and Lola'sth wedding, and then you came."

"Eventful."

"It wasn't that eventful. Your life wasth probably more eventful than mine."

"I moved to Florida but I didn't like the heat too much so I moved back to Brooklyn. I dated and broke up with three guys…"

"Well that's one thing you two have in common," Wile E said as he passed. "Your irresistible attraction to the wrong women, or in your case men."

Daffy picked up one of the boxes that littered the floor and threw it at him. "Shut up Wile E!"

**

Later that afternoon those feeling started to come back to Daffy but it was mixed with something different. For one thing, he purposely hadn't talked to…_them_…for years. He had resented…_them_…all his life but in a way, it was his own fault. He'd convinced himself that they favored Dolores (which was probably true but still) and he never really gave them a chance. He didn't know what it was, he couldn't place a name to the feelings…

"It's called guilt Daff," Bugs said taking the apple pies Sylvia bought out of the refrigerator.

"What?"

"Whatever it is, it's guilt," Bugs said as if reading his mind. "It's when you feel bad about something you did in the past."

"I know what guilt is Bugsth! I am not guilty!"

"I can think of a ton of reasons why you would be," Bugs said. "You hated your parents, you hated your sister, you left them all when you were fifteen, you tried to ignore them your whole life…"

"Hey shut up will ya! Daffy Dumasth Duck doesth not feel guilty you know! So stop talking about it!"

"Fine. Suit yourself." Bugs started making his world famous pasta salad.

Daffy thought for a second. He knew Bugs was right but he had a hard time admitting it to himself. He decided to do something he'd put off his whole life. "Hey Bugsth, can I borrow your phone?"

Bugs smiled knowing what Daffy was getting at. He pointed to the phone on the wall. Daffy picked up the phone and went into the library. Luckily everyone was either in the basement or in the living room watching some Tyler Perry movie so he could be alone.

He sat on the couch for a while thinking about what they'd say. He couldn't remember the last time he'd talked to them. He half expected them to hang up on them and quite frankly he couldn't blame them. He'd been a jerk. He looked at the rows of books on Bugs' bookshelf,

Michael Creighton, biographies, Shakespeare (which Bugs claimed to be the classics). Any other day Daffy'd laugh to himself thinking Bugs was a real nerd to own all these books but not this time. Normally Daffy had too much pride to admit this even to himself but somehow he'd had a new outlook. He realized he _was_ a jerk.

Finally he dialed the number. He waited impatiently while it rang.

"Duck residence, Laura Duck speaking."

Daffy thought about dropping the phone and running for a second but reminded himself that he was _not_ a quitter. "Um, mom, it'sth Daffy."

His mom was silent on the other end for a moment. Then she said, "What made you decide to call after all this time?"

Daffy sighed, here comes that stupid apology again, he thought. As of today he really hated apologizing, it made him feel all…good inside. "I'm sthorry I never called okay?"

"That's all?" Daffy could tell she wasn't about to accept just that.

"I'm sthorry I never called, and well, I'm sthorry I left in the firsth place. It was sthupid of me. I only did it becausthe…becausthe I thought you favored Doloresth over me, there I sthaid it! And I really mean thisth don't think I'm lying!" His mom didn't say anything. "Stho, um, will you forgive me?"

After much contemplation in Laura's own mind, she spoke again. "Yes, I forgive you Daffy."

Daffy opened his mouth to say something but nothing came out. This was a lot more than he expected, he didn't expect to be forgiven by anyone ever again. He may have been being hard on himself but it was true. He found his voice again. "You do?" his voice cracked when he said it.

"I do, you're my son. I'm glad you were mature enough to call and apologize, that says a lot of you."

In the background was his father's voice. "Laura who's that on the phone?"

"Our son."

There was silence on the other end for a moment. "Daffy is that really you?" his father asked.

Daffy couldn't remember the day he'd been so glad to hear his dad's voice. "Yeah, it'sth me, the flesh. Listhen, I'm sthorry about everything, honesthly," his voice cracked again and he let a tear escape but he quickly wiped it away.

"No need to get all technical I forgive you. How's life been for you?"

"It'sth been, uh, life. I should be asking you that question you sthee me in the papersth all the time, even though half that shit isn't accurate."

"It's been lacking, I'll tell you that." He paused for a second. "Sorry I have to go so soon, we're going down to D.C. for this big holiday event."

"S'okay, I'm kinda in the middle of a party right now anyway."

"I'm glad you called, this is the best Christmas present I've ever gotten."

"Me too. Talk to you later."

"Alright bye Daffy."

Daffy hung up the phone and just held it in his hand staring at it feeling like a big weight had been lifted off of him.

"That was a nice thing you did," Melissa said, startling him.

"How much did you hear?"

Melissa sat next to him. "Everything. I've never seen you cry like that before. I always knew you had a soft spot," she said poking him in the arm.

Daffy rolled his eyes. "Yeah, well, don't expect to sthee it again."

"What made you decide to call them all of a sudden?"

Daffy kept his gaze fixated on Harry Potter and the Deathly Hollows while he thought of how to put it without making himself sound weak. "I don't know, I just…" Daffy looked at her giving up on trying to be tough, this was Melissa he was talking to after all. "I felt guilty okay? I left them when I was a kid, I haven't talked to them in who knowsth how long, and then when I made up with my sthister it was like I had sthome sthort of family again but they were the ones missthing. I know it sthounds unbelievable, Daffy Duck felling guilty, actually wanting sthome sthort of family. Doloresth is right, I'm a jerk." He was starting to get choked up again.

Melissa gave him a hug. "No you're not. What you did just now proves you're not a jerk. If you had the integrity to make up with your sister and your parents all in one day that proves you're not. I honestly never expected you to do something like that and I'm sure everyone else didn't either." She held him at arms length. "You may be stubborn and greedy but you're no jerk Daffy. I should know, that's why I love you."

Daffy cracked a smile. Melissa was officially the nicest girl on the planet. "Thanksth Melisstha, you're right."

"When am I ever not right?"

Dolores came in holding a plate of pasta salad. "You two are gonna miss out on Bugs' pasta salad. My god, this stuff is good!"

"How long have we been in here?" Daffy asked.

Dolores shrugged. "Gee I don't know, a half an hour. All's I know is you two are gonna miss the pasta salad, now c'mon, get out of here!"

Daffy rolled his eyes. "Doloresth…" He was about to scream at her but then stopped himself. "We'll be right there." Dolores left the room babbling about how awesome Bugs' pasta salad is.

Daffy and Melissa went to go get some awesome pasta salad and apple pie.

Bugs went over to Daffy with his third plate (the stuff is really amazing). "So, you finally talked to them huh? Guilt kicked in?"

"You know what Bugsth…!" He saw the smirk on Bugs' face and sighed. "Yeah. I did. Go ahead and gloat, you know you want to. Go ahead and sthay it 'Daffy isth a conceited jerk'."

"I wasn't gonna say that. I was thinking more along the lines of stuck up brat but have it your way. I'll use conceited jerk."

Daffy shoved his fork in Bugs' face just inches from his eye making him jump back in surprise. "You know, I feel bad enough right now. Could you cut me sthome sthlack and sthop being a jerk?!" He started to stomp out of the room.

Bugs put down his plate. "Hey Daff." Daffy stopped but didn't turn around probably contemplating punching Bugs in the face. "I'm sorry okay? Honestly, I proud of you for talking to your folks and making up with your sister."

Daffy turned to face him. "You don't mean that."

Bugs smirked but there was sincerity in his voice. "Yeah I do. I never expected you of all people to do something like that."

Daffy put down his plate next to Bugs'. "It's alright Bugsth. You're my buddy I forgive you." He gave Bugs a hug.

_Click!_

They let go of each other and saw Tweety, Penelope and Lola in front of them with a digital camera. "Nice," Tweety said.

"Hey! In case you didn't get the memo, this is a picture free zone!" Bugs exclaimed.

The three of them looked at the picture on the camera. "Not bad," Lola said. "You two take a good picture."

"That proves that these two can put aside their differences and be friends every once in a while," Penelope said.

"You guysth have three stheconds to scream and run," Daffy said holding up his fist.

"Three," Bugs said.

"Aw, they're not gonna do anything," Penelope said.

Daffy pulled a disintegrator out of the drawer. "Two."

"Oh, they were serious," Lola said.

"One!"

"RUN AWAY!" Tweety shouted.

Bugs reached out and caught Lola easily. "Lola, you didn't even try."

"I'm tired," Lola said.

"Aw, it's Lola's bedtime? Would you like me to read you Little Red Riding Hood or the Three Little Pigs for your bedtime story?" Bugs teased.

Lola rolled her eyes. "Ha, ha, you're a comedic genius." She went to the refrigerator and poured herself a Coke.

"You know you can always go to sleep right?"

Lola took a long gulp of Coke. "Going to sleep before 9:00 is against my better judgment."

"Gosh, you're a stubborn one," Bugs said. "You're extremely tired and instead of going to sleep you drink three cups of caffeine and sugar."

Lola nodded while pouring herself another cup. "Yup. That's right."

**

A little while later all the LT's were in the living room with the fire going and How the Grinch Stole Christmas on the flat screen. Everyone was peaceful and cozy. That's a first, all the Looney Tunes in the same room being civilized for more than an hour watching a kids movie, well, there's a first for everything.

Daffy was sitting by the fireplace with both the women in his life on either side of him, his sister and Melissa.

"Are you guys always this peaceful?" Dolores asked.

Daffy chuckled. "Out of 365 daysth…about an hour of that time we're civilized."

"Hey Lola?" Melissa said.

Lola was on the couch in Bugs' arms knocked out. "She's asleep," Bugs said.

Lola woke up. "I'm not asleep. My eyes are just closed and I'm not moving. What Melissa?"

Melissa shook her head. "Go back to sleep Lola."

"But…"

"Shh," Bugs said in her ear. "Your dreams await you."

Lola yawned. "Oh fine. But I'm not going to sleep because I want to okay? I'm going to sleep because I'm being nice…" And with that she went to sleep.

"Why is your wife so stubborn?" Elmer Fudd asked.

Bugs shrugged. "The doctors haven't figured it out. Apparently the medication they put her on isn't working."

Suddenly Sylvester took an extremely loud bite of his candy cane. Everyone turned to him (except for Lola who was asleep).

"Do you have to be so loud son?" Foghorn asked.

Sylvester nodded. "It's necessthary."

"Alright…carry on," Foghorn said.

"Merry Christmas you guys," Sylvia said.

"Don't end thisth thing all corny Sthylvia. You're sthupposed to be original and sthay, Merry Christmasth home skilly bizkitsth," Daffy said.

"Have you considered medication yourself?" Bugs asked.

Daffy rolled his eyes. "Shut up."

"How about we end it by saying, they all lived happily ever after?" Melissa suggested.

And they all lived happily ever…

"No! No! No! You can't end a story like that. What is this, a fairy tale?!" Wile E exclaimed.

"Fine then, Sthylvester caught Tweety and he wasth sthatisfied for the rest of histh life?" Sylvester suggested.

"How about Tweety ran Sylvester over with a train and he never had any problems again?" Tweety said.

"How about, Penelope fell madly in love with Pepe le Pew and they got married?" Pepe Le Pew suggested.

"What happened to the concept of Christmas?" Bugs asked.

"How about all you people just shut up and went to sleep?" Lola asked.

"That's a terrible ending," Wile E said.

Suddenly Michael Jordan walked through the door with a basketball in his hands. They all stared in confusion. "Let's do some drills."

"What kind of ending is this to a _Christmas_ story?" Penelope asked.

Okay no Michael Jordan. An abominable snowman broke through the window with a pick ax swinging it around like a crazed clown with hepatitis. Everyone screamed and ran around in circles while the abominable snowman broke everything in sight. It chopped off Daffy's head meanwhile Lola slept through the whole thing. Melissa was being held hostage…

"This doesthn't make a heck of sthense," Sylvester said.

"What kind of crap is this?!" Wile E exclaimed.

"Why do I have to losthe my head? Bugsth should losthe histh head. Bugsth doesn't destherve a head!" Daffy exclaimed.

"Why does Melissa have to be the damsel in distress? Why is Melissa _always_ the damsel in distress?!" Melissa exclaimed.

"No one sleeps through something like that," Lola said.

"I'm telling you, Penelope should fall in love with me! Holiday romance!" Pepe exclaimed.

Okay so what happened was, Bugs turned into Ash and Lola turned into Misty. Daffy and Melissa were team rocket. Tweety was Pikachu and electrocuted Wile E who was Brock. Sylvester was Meowth.

Bugs took out the Pokeball and said, "Squirtle GO!"

Porky shot out the Pokeball as Squirtle. "Aw, I wanted to be Bulbosaur."

"Well you're Squirtle, deal with it!" Lola/Misty said.

"Okay STOP! This doeasn't make any sense either!" Penelope said.

Okay, no Pokemon. Everything's back to normal.

"Here'sth what should happen, I should become the dictator of the world and you guysth can all be my sthlaves," Daffy paused when he saw Melissa's face. "Except you, you can be my queen."

"Daff, you'd make a terrible dictator," Bugs said. "How about I get nominated for ten Academy Awards…"

"You have enough Academy Awardsth!" Daffy exclaimed. "Thosthe awardsth should belong to me! You sthole my fame dang it!"

"I see being civilized doesn't last very long," Dolores said to Melissa.

"They always start something."

While they argue about how to end a story and Daffy rants about Bugs being more famous than him (not that anyone really cares, we love them all), I'm going to wrap this up and say a simple,

The End

* * *

The ending is a little dumb but i don't care it's funny. Peace out!


End file.
